Archive for the ‘Retro Review’ Category
Or – “What Happens In The Alternate Universe, STAYS In The Alternate Universe…”
As comics readers, I think we tend to think of the retcon as a modern invention, something that Roy Thomas or Steve Englehart created to offset the changing tastes of comics readers who weren’t gonna stand for all them talkin’ tigers and cartoon sidekicks with which the Golden Age was rife. But dating back to the very first comics books ever, writers were in the business of creating stories to fill in the gaps between what we knew and what we didn’t. For instance, did you know that Kal-El was well over a century old upon his landing in Smallville a couple decades ago? If you didn’t, it’s time to relax with the beverage of your choice while Unca’ Matthew tells you a little story he heard in his long-ago youth. Are you sitting comfortably? Away we go!
Or – “Who Is This Allen Person, Again?”
Professor Emil Jennings was a man ahead of his time, finding technological ways to capture the powers that took Gamma bombs, alien rockets, special serums and more in the hands of others. From Dynamo’s Thunderbelt, with it’s ability to make you nigh-invulnerable, to Menthor’s helmet and it’s full-spectrum psionic abilities to the mysterious cloak that accompanies them (a long story that I’ll be getting to soon enough) Jennings was pretty much a full-service superpower clearing house. But, it should be noted that not ALL the scientific accomplishments used by T.H.U.N.D.E.R.’s eponymous agents were his doing, as this week’s entrant will tell you. Originally a non-powered support agent, he was able to move to powered agent status with the help of an accelerator rifle a reinforced speed-suit, though his power comes with a very high price… His service proves that sometimes, the needs of the many will far outway the needs of the one, as his abilities shorten his life with each and every use. This, then, is your Hero History of Guy Gilbert of the Higher United Nations Defense Enlistment Reserves… T.H.U.N.D.E.R. Agent Lightning!
No Comments »Or – “Named For The Roman God Martius, God Of War…”
Not to be confused with famed Martian general Marvin, whose computers are so complex and naughty… Traditionally, this month has signaled the beginning of the season of military campaigns, and also the time when college basketball generals lead their troops unto the field of battle. For me, working in small-market TV for as long as I did, it’s a month which signals mighty pains in the butt, which explains why this is technically the FEBRUARY edition of RFR. We apologize for the inconvenience… Better to just press on.
12 Comments »Or – “You Could Concievably Blame This ENTIRE Exercise On This Comic Book…”
Now, work with me here… The year is 1979, and I, an avid reader of science fiction and brainy books happen to be hanging out with my cousin Elwood (more than likely under the auspices of my Aunt Sherry.) We end up at the Duckwalls, or possibly the S&S Drugstore, my memory isn’t quite clear, but I remember purchasing this 35 cent piece of history and being kind of interested in this whole “funnybook” thing. Now, cut forward to 1989 or so… Having expanded my collection, I fall into the orbit (or, indeed, vice versa, given relative masses) of one Stephen Schleicher, a man with a very spiky haircut and a fascination for my comic books. Leap forward to 2005 or thereabouts, when Stevarino launches a little website we like to call Major Spoilers. Were it not for my dime and a quarter back in the Carter administration, who KNOWS what Stephen would have been fixated enough upon to create his own website? Let’s all kick back, knock down a Hires root beer at the B. Dalton and be glad we’re not reading HotAsianCheerleadersEatingPorkRibs.org. (At least not in THIS browser window, anyway…)
Or – “Fresh And Full Of Life!”
In the grand scheme of things, there are only a limited number of really good ideas in the universe. The old cliche of movie producers explaining something as “X Meets Y” is a cliche for a reason, after all. (Indiana Jones and the Crystal Skull = Han Solo + Lizzie McGuire / Nostagia.) So, when defining today’s Hero History entrant, you find yourself explaining that he kind of looks like the Silver Age Atom, but has the abilities of Professor X, with a touch of Ilya Kiriakin for seasoning. But even that explanation doesn’t do him justice, as the character quickly became more and less than the sum of his parts, and has taken a special place in comic book history in the doing. One of the first characters to really embody the reality of the intelligence field, his story is probably the most known of all the agents of T.H.U.N.D.E.R. This, then, is your Major Spoilers Hero History of John Janus, agent of ’The Higher United Nations Defense Enforcement Reserves…’ MENTHOR!
1 Comment »Or – “There Are Old Pilots And Bold Pilots, But Few Old, Bold Pilots…”
I saw recently that a clinical study proved that January 25th is the most depressing day of the entire year, scientifically and unequivocally. While I don’t disagree with that sentiment (especially as it regards the attendance of employees in Midwestern United States call centers) I find it fascinating that somebody actually got paid to try and figure out something that silly and (let’s be honest, here) banal. Still and all, it’s the kind of story that you read and go, “Yeah, I can see that.” Thus, to ease your slowly-receding ennui (and Stephen’s not-so-slowly receding hairline) I give you another batch of coverage of comics you might have read, but forgot to laugh at the first time… Rapid-Fire Style!
4 Comments »Or – “Where’s My Santa On The Shaver, Dammit?”
Sometimes the holidays turn into a blur of food and family and spectacle, like the Roman Empire right before the Dark Ages. When that happens, it’s good to have Rapid Fire Reviews: Reading the comics, so you don’t have to!
7 Comments »Or – “Not Bird, Nor Plane, Nor Even Frog…”
The 1960’s featured a proliferation of spy organizations, from Nick Fury’s SHIELD, to Derek Flint’s ZOWIE, even Napoleon Solo’s UNCLE. In fact, for a time it seemed that the only thing more plentiful in the mid-60’s than intelligence operatives were superheroes, so it was natural that, eventually, SOMEBODY would discover a way to combine the two. The T.H.U.N.D.E.R. Agents were created in response to a dangerous world, working as operatives of the United Nations to combat threats that your average super-friend wouldn’t have the reach or resources to combat, and foremost in their field operations was the irresistible force of today’s Hero History subject. Neither as invulnerable as that Kent kid, nor as smart as Tom Wayne’s boy, he nonetheless was the lynchpin of T.H.U.N.D.E.R. in all its incarnations, showing what the average man was capable of in extraordinary circumstances. This, then, is your Major Spoilers Hero History of Leonard Brown, agent of ’The Higher United Nations Defense Enforcement Reserves…’ DYNAMO!
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3 Comments »Or – “Turkey Fact #12: If You Leave A Turkey Out In The Rain, He’ll Drown… Stupid Bird.”
Every year, I tell myself that I’m going to take it easy on Thanksgiving, and every year, I pretty much feel like a python who swallowed a wild boar. Yesterday, I had three slices of pie, an enormous wedge of ham, and half a bag of crackers with cheese spread, and that was the day BEFORE the holiday feasting. In order to help you digest YOUR Thanksgiving dinner, (Disclaimer: May not be valid in all areas!) we’ve got another line-up of things to be thankful for in the comics world… To Infinity – And BEYOND!!!!!
4 Comments »It worked before, let’s try it again
Even though it is a holiday in the United States of America, we at Major Spoilers realize there are a great many of our readers that hail from places not contained within 50 states. Last year, I took down memory lane with a look at one of my favorite comics of all time Asterix and Cleopatra. It was so well received last year, we’re repeating the stunt again. Considering there are thirty plus Asterix titles, I think it is safe to say, we won’t be running out of material anytime soon.
Or – “I Decided To Trick Or Treat With My Kid Instead… Sorry.”
The MUSIC MEEEISSSSTERRRR! Sing the song that the world wants to heeeear! Man, I’ve had that stuck in my head for WEEKS, now. This particular RFR was meant to go up last week, just in time for the annual festival of half-price chocolate, but various things conspired to keep me from completing it until today. For those of you who can’t get enough comic review goodness, I’ve got the cowbell to slake your fever, and it’s time to ask ourselves, baby, what’s the word? In the words of the great philosopher Aloysius Bundy: “Let’s ROCK.”
8 Comments »Or – “They Also Serve Those Who Only Stand And Wait Get Retconned After Twelve Issues…”
It’s a sad truth of the Legion of Super-Heroes that many readers consider them (in the words of my pal Otter Disaster) “an inside joke that I don’t get.” That confusion is understandable, given my own questions on whether Vol. 4 Laurel Gand and Rebooted Andromeda should be considered the same character, or whether Alchemist and Element Lad should be treated as one, sharing as they do little more than a real name in common. So, it’s nice to be able to take a character and give a straightforward explanation, without changing realities, wiped out figures, or reconstituted post-Crisis elements… Today’s entrant started as a crush for a fellow Legionnaire, and ended up becoming an emblem of how the team overcomes prejudices, heals old grudges and can even make a better hero. This, then, is your Major Spoilers Hero History of Giselle Smith of Triton… Gazelle!
6 Comments »Or – “Hey, Vent! You Ready To Move Out?”
When you read monthly comic books the way that I do, often times you get to the point where you feel like you know what’s coming, when every title feels like you’ve read it before. On the other hand, you have the odd experience where you read a title or issues that you KNOW you’ve read before, but you cannot for the life of you remember how it’s supposed to end. With over a hundred monthly titles coming out, sometimes you need to play catchup, you need to go where everybody knows your name to the land of the Rapid Fire Revieeeeewwww!
12 Comments »Or – “Most People Don’t Know That His Full Name Is Manuel Labór.”
So, I have completed my daily labors, overseeing the dozen fellers and gals what make up the current workgroup to call themselves Team RamRod (“See, you’re Arkot Ramathorn… Ram. And I’m Rodney Farva… Rod. Team RamRod!”) and I am preparing to have some spaghetti and hang out with friends, but first I wanted to catch up with some of the many titles that I’ve neglected over the busy last days of August…
RAPID-FIRE REVIEW TIME!
6 Comments »Or – “Boys Of An Unusually Superhuman Nature…”
During the Hero History Project, I have taken a few liberties here and there in the manner and tone in which I convey the life and times of the various Legionnaires. One of the most controversial has been my use of the name Tom Welling to refer to Kal-El’s boyhood career in the LSH and elsewhere, a choice which has led many people to pointedly needle me, even going so far as to question my journalistic integrity. With tongue firmly in cheek, I would like to respond thusly… Point the first: I make no pretense of being a journalist, and thus my integrity remains mint-in-package. Point the second: At the time the Hero Histories began, DC Comics was embroiled in a legal battle causing them to eschew the use of a certain S-word, and thus it was timely to make a joke (that I then proceeded to beat into the ground, as is the way of my people.) Point the third: My project, my rules, I make ‘em up. But as this last Hero History actually began to take form (which is the primary reason that you haven’t seen much of me this last week) it became quite clear that continuing with the joke would have finally been too much, even for me. Moreover, it would undermine the point of the Hero History: To examine each Legionnaire on their own terms, and to look at their own flaws and virtues on an individual basis, and to try and quantify what it is that he, she, or it brings to the table, jokes be damned. Given the historical importance of today’s entrant, I could do no less.
You’ve waited patiently, Faithful Spoilerites, the day that I’ve been dreading (and that you’ve all been waiting to see if I could actually pull off) is here. This, then is your Major Spoilers Hero History of Kal-El of Krypton, who became known as Clark Kent of Earth, as well as his young clone, Kon-El of Metropolis. They call them both…
11 Comments »
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