New Avengers #53
Continuation of the Avengers and Hood racing to find out who will be the new Sorcerer Supreme. Which we find out in this issue.
The Avengers are having a discussion (shocker) while Hawkeye/Ronin/Clint Barton tries to find a parking space. Apparently the "hover" option has been disabled. As with all the Bendis scenes where everyone's in one room together, golden one-liners spill across the room like a verbal pinata being cracked open.
Suddenly, the Eye of Agamotto starts doing something it's never done before. In a flash of blue light (Conspiracy! Quesada took a Blu-Ray bribe here), Marvel pokeballs start popping out - showing exactly what we wanted to see: Who's in the running for the job of Sorcerer Supreme?
Our candidates: (clockwise from 12 o'clock), as told by a guy who has maybe 5 Dr. Strange comics:
1. Morgan Le Fey
2. Deformed Baby Face Dude with thinning hair and beard
3. Some uninspiring girl.
5. Baron Mordo
6. Doctor Doom
7. Some guy that looks like Ancient One's Evil Brother
8. Oh, God, not that white haired Chthon guy
10. Your stereotypical alien from Area 51
11. Scarlet Witch!
13. Tony Stark. OK, some guy in a goatee sipping coffee.
14. Ghost Rider
16. Teenage Red Sonja? Maybe Magik?
17. Some guy that stole Gambit's headpiece, but he's sad girls still won't talk to him.
18. Wiccan, but only because he appeared last issue. Otherwise, I would have said teenaged Beyonder
19. Guy with X carved on face.
20. The Hood
21. Some guy who stole Gambit's jacket, but is sad... well, you get the rest.
23. Equally uninspiring girl as #3 but making a mean face.
24. Dracula after he's been watching Mortal Kombat too many times and thinks he's Liu Kang
25. Brother Voodoo
26. Harry Potter. Just kidding.
So, now, we're thinking we'll see... Magical Contest of Champions? Maybe American Magical Idol? No. Sadly, Destro and Baroness' daughter, Madame Masque (gotcha thinking about that now, right? Weird?) hits the Quinjet with a rocket launcher. This must be the $14,999 model that has no extras. Including A Garvin which would tell them where the nearest parking lot is. (Sigh)
Wolverine, Spidey jump out. Budda Budda Budda Madame Masque makes Wolverine into swiss cheese. Faboom Madame Masque instantly now swaps back to rocket launcher (it takes me 10 seconds to do this in Ghost Recon 2) but Dr. Strange magics it apart. Shame he didn't do that in the first two shots.
Spider Woman drops down, no Budda Budda Budda, and instead Madame Masque goes for Joker Laughing Gas as a cover. I say this, because they exchange "Ha!"s over the next few pages as they fight. HA! Ha! HA! Ha! Yawn.
Saved from a gun to the head by Cap, Spider-Woman punches her off the roof then says she kicked her off the roof in the next panel. Hot chicks are such liars. Hawkeye/Ronin/Clint FINALLY lands the plane.
Flashback to 5 minutes ago:
Hood shoots at Hellstorm. Hellstorm quips, doesn't get shot. Eye of Agamotto shows up. Eye leaves. Quips continue. Hood stays and fights. Really? Why?
Avengers get out. Talk some more. For urgency, these Avengers move like a wife getting out of the car. I mean, seriously. Fate of all magic. Urgent. Let's walk leisurely, people. Safety first.
Hellstorm fighting with the Hood some more. Hood goes all Dorammuey. Demands the eye. Which he saw leave. Avengers show up. Hellstorm says "Ho!" which I can't tell - is he channelling Thor, or calling Cage a ho? Either one sounds bad.
Madame Masque has a hostage. Cap shoots her in the head. Don't worry, metal mask on Madame Masque. Spidey says he hates guns. I guess guns are the new cigarettes of the Marvel universe. Except for Cap, who can use them.
Dorammu goes more Dorammuey, Hellstorm says he doesn't have the Eye - and enter.... your winner and new champeen...
"My name is Jericho Drumm. They Call me Brudder Voodoo. What 'da hell is worng wit' you people?"
People who did pretty much nothing this issue:
I like Bendis and banter. So this issue was a lot of fun. It's hard for me to rate books on a scale when they're written as "Part 1 of __". However, this was my favorite book of the week.
By Tan. It's nummy. Much better than the previous issue with Bachalo. So many different types of scenes. Everything was great in my book. I would have preferred to have a who's who with the Poke-ball scene, but obviously it's an Easter Egg for true Marvel Magic fans.
See if you can return you "Battle for the Cowl" #1-3 and pick up this six part series instead.