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Author Topic: Top five? Top one!  (Read 14160 times)
Scale_e
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« on: January 28, 2013, 10:08:31 PM »

Top one martial arts movie.

I saw Legend of the Drunken Master when I was around twelve years old. For me at least, it is not only the quintessential Jackie Chan movie, but the best martial arts movie of all time.
Jackie Chan calling out his special moves (down the hatch, wheelbarrow, wine barrel, etc), the "My Kung fu is better!" fights in the market, fighting underneath a train with a pole arm. Amazing, amazing stuff.
But Drunken Boxing isn't the only form of martial arts in this film, oh no, because you get Ken Lo. The big bad final boss of this film. What does that mean? Taekwondo and Muay Thai. And what does THAT mean? The most amazing kicks you'll ever see outside of a Tony Jaa movie. The final fight sequence is brilliant. If you are determined to never see this film, at least check out the final fight sequence on YouTube or something. It will blow you away.
As good as Jackie Chan is in this film, he is not my favourite character though. That position is firmly held by the protagonists step-mother, Ling, played by Anita Mui. She was the first female character I ever saw on screen where I stopped and said to myself "Wow, I believe this character. I've met people like her in real life." She is amazing. Witty, sarcastic, loving, outgoing and hysterically funny while at the same time two-faced, bloodthirsty, conceited and flawed. Oh the beautiful crocodile tears! This character is everything that is good about Legend of the Drunken master.
In conclusion, everyone is entitled to their own opinions, but if you don't love this film then your opinions are wrong and you are a terrible, terrible person.
I'm Scale Enlie, and that's what I reckon.
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Scale_e
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« Reply #1 on: January 29, 2013, 07:53:59 PM »

Top one thing that tells me I'm living in the future.

I grew up in a small town. That meant no new video games. Ever. Full stop. The end. On our families trips to the city, whenever I asked my parents for additional recreational software, I always got the response "Whats's wrong with the games you have?"
They didn't quite understand that a kid can't play Dark Reign and NOTHING ELSE for over a year and not go insane. I ended up going back to my Apple 2e and writing games in BASIC because I was that bored. There had to be SOME way of getting new content into my town... didn't there?
Well, at the time, no. Which is why digital distribution is what tells me I'm living in the future.
The unfortunate thing for me is that by the time digital distribution came about I was already in the workforce and living away from home. Thanks for nothing steam! A little too late to save me from a life of endless spider-bike rushes!
But not too late to take all my money. I buy so many games online now... It's just insane. If it weren't for the ridiculously priced train simulator 'game' on there, I'd have made the decision to buy EVERYTHING already. I buy games on sale knowing full well that I will never play them. Why you ask? I don't know really. Maybe I'm making up for a childhood devoid of new content. Maybe it's my Diablo 2 OCD coming through. Who knows?
What I do know is that I love PC games. And you should too.
I'm Scale Enlie, and that's what I reckon.
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Scale_e
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« Reply #2 on: January 30, 2013, 07:39:46 PM »

Top one time travel story.

H.G Wells 'The Time Machine'. Specifically the 1960 film adaption with Rod Taylor (This ones a purler, ya fukkin Galah! Give it a captain!).
I first saw this film when I was about five years old. I was at my grandmas house, lying on the floor in front of the old HMV... And the Morlocks scared the absolute crap out of me. I must have watched this film at least twice per visit to my grandmas house, which was a weekly event. I'm surprised I didn't wear out the VHS.
Looking back, the second best thing about H.G Wells time machine is the fact that the machine itself is an analogue machine. It essentially creates a bubble that speeds up, slows down or reverses all the time around it, rather than just popping you back and forth through past and future history like the Delorean or the TARDIS. This means that the pilot (and us as viewers) will see academy award winning time lapse photography as they travel along the fourth axis.
The best thing about H.G Wells time machine is Yvette Mimieux. Because she is gorgeous and has one of the corniest lines of dialogue I've ever heard. "The women of your time, how do they wear their hair?" This speaks volumes of how men viewed women in the late 50's/early 60's and is by today's standards hilarious. I mean come on, this guy, who is from literally aeons ago, is right next to you and the most important question you have is about hair dressing?
The other thing worth mentioning is that the original story was written in 1895. Obviously before world war one and two. The 1960 film that I adore so much features these wars as stopovers on the protagonists journey. "Hurry! Hide! The mushrooms'll be sprouting! Wait for the All-Clear!" These scenes, despite the model burning special effects, are great.
This is a beautiful film and one definitely worth seeing, especially if you like time travel... because no other film handles it quite like this.
I'm Scale Enlie, and that's what I reckon.
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Scale_e
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« Reply #3 on: January 31, 2013, 07:50:54 PM »

Top one guilty pleasures, film edition.

In my last post I waffled on about how much I adored the 1960 film adaption of  H.G Wells time machine. Well, at the end of that old VHS tape, after a gruelling five minutes of static filled, post credits "where the bloody hell is the remote control?" I discovered a second movie, crammed on the end of the tape. Spacehunter: adventures in the forbidden zone.
It was B grade. Hell, it defines B grade. It was released around the same time as Return of the Jedi and suffered from being unfairly compared to that franchise, but there is no denying that this is a bad movie.
I still thought it was totally awesome though. It had Michael Ironside, Ernie Hudson and Molly Ringwald. It had mutants, amazons, dragons, robots, space ships, rail ships, power gliders, a battle-dozer, a death maze and a cyber-vampire. Beat that? No you can't. This movie was epic.
The story centers  around a space-garbage-hauler/bounty-hunter named Wolff (Peter Strauss) who, accompanied by his attractive  2iC, go on a mission to rescue three hot women and claim the reward of 3000 MEGA-CREDITS!!
They fail, she dies and is revealed to be an android, Wolff meets up with an orphan called Niki (Molly Ringwald) and then it's off to see the wizard... If by wizard you mean Ironsides in heavy makeup with robot arms...
The have many adventures on the way, meet up with Ernie Hudson in his battle-dozer, save the girls, kill the bad guy, start running out of the soon-to-explode evil-fortress and then... I really don't know. The tape ends, and the VCR auto rewinds to the start of the time machine and I watch the double feature again.
Even though I've never seen the last 15 or so minutes and I don't know if they even survive or not, this is still one of my favorite movies of all time. And it's terrible.
I'm Scale Enlie, and that's what I reckon.
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Scale_e
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« Reply #4 on: February 03, 2013, 07:46:17 PM »

Top one black and white movie.

Black and white movies aren't really at the top of my list of ways to be entertained. That said, Dr. Strangelove is brilliant.
Peter Sellers is so goddamn versatile. James Earl Jones is so goddamn young, and Sterling Hayden as Brigadier General Ripper is so goddamn insane. Slim Pickens as the bomber pilot made me laugh so hard. "Well boys, I reckon this is it -- nuclear combat toe to toe with the Ruskies!"
However, all this comedy conceals a dark truth that my generation is quick to dismiss: Nuclear war was a very real threat. Today we are supposed to worry about school shootings and underwear bombs. Terrorism and mass killings existed through the Cold War, sure, but it just didn't hit as hard as the threat of some general in Moscow or Washington flipping a switch and killing, literally, everyone on the planet. Watching this film reminds me of how, I won't say 'good' because there is still a lot of things to fear in the 21st century, but 'better' things are now. I don't need to be afraid of global thermonuclear war today and Dr. Strangelove, ironically maybe, reminds me of that.
I'm Scale Enlie, and that's what I reckon.
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Scale_e
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« Reply #5 on: February 04, 2013, 10:05:24 PM »

Top one movie from the 70's

When I first heard this topic I said to myself, "Easy, Star Wars, no doubt, no worries." Then I got to thinking... Damn, there were a lot of good movies from the 70's. Alien, Apocalypse Now, Papillon, West World, Clockwork Orange, Dawn of the Dead. The list just goes on and on. But after all that, and I spent a long, long time thinking about it, I came full circle, back to Star Wars.
I first saw Star Wars when I was around nine years old. It was during the Christmas holidays (mid summer for us) and it was a stinking-hot day. Zooper doopers and LA Ice cola. Two fans blasting us, not helping much at all. Seeing Darth Vader for the first time. Luke getting his lightsaber. The cantina.  Han Solo, the coolest space cowboy ever.
Looking back, I'm envious of the generation that got to see this film on release day at the cinema. It just isn't fair that they got A New Hope, while we had our hopes smashed with The Phantom Menace. Mr Lucas, why god why, the midichlorians?
Star Wars did not just fuel my love of science fiction films, it also fueled my love of science fiction computer games. Dark forces, Outcast, Academy, Battlefront and eventually The Old Republic MMO, which really didn't need to BE an MMO. The story, gameplay and voice acting (oh damn, the voice acting) were good enough for it to be a solid four to eight player co-op. Don't get me wrong, I like what they tried to do, but in the end they are competing with WoW... And that means failure. What's that ToR? New content? No one cares, Mists of Pandora just came out.
I didn't play Galaxies when it was big, and have not tried KotOR yet, but the latter is on my list. Anyways, I'm getting a bit off topic.
I think Star Wars is awesome, and you should too.
I'm Scale Enlie, and that's what I reckon.
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Scale_e
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« Reply #6 on: February 05, 2013, 05:07:23 PM »

Top One Scary Movie.

I had a morbid fear of spiders for half my life. I'm pretty much over it now, when a spider drops down off the roof and lands on the bed next to me it's not really a big deal to flip it off, glass jar it and drop it out the window (or just squash the bastard if I'm lazy). When I was a kid though... Running screaming from the room was the only option.
The reason for this is not very complicated; I saw the film Arachnophobia. My family was at the neighbors house for a party, the kids had finished dinner early and wanted to go watch a movie. The eldest kid chose Arachnophobia. I was about four years old.
I can remember three things from that night. One, A lady gets bitten by a spider while turning off a lamp and dies. Two, the room we watched the film in was full of cobwebs. Three, I was scared the whole time, but frozen with fear, and I watched the entire film.
From then until about the age of twelve I would run screaming from the room at the sight of a spider.
The other thing to take into account is that I've lived in Australia my entire life. We have spiders here. Lots of them. Redbacks in your boots. Whitetails in the laundry basket. Huntsmen as big as your hand, fingers and all, you get them everywhere, especially around the door seals of your car. Tried to poke one out of my bedroom window with a stick once, bloody thing just starts attacking the stick. I could hear the wood crunching. Terrifying. And if you ever have to walk through tall grass, field spiders at neck height, waiting to pounce. As I type this I am watching a daddy long legs in my PC case wrapping a mosquito to feast on later... We don't care about daddy long legs though, they are small, and they nest everywhere. No big deal.
Anyways, that's enough of that. Arachnophobia is supposed to be pretty humorous by today's standards, but I don't care. It's my number one scary movie and I don't plan on ever seeing it again.
I'm Scale Enlie, and that's what I reckon.
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Scale_e
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« Reply #7 on: February 10, 2013, 05:10:04 PM »

Top One Fictional Villain.

When I was a kid, in my hometown at least, there was no conception of a 'gamer'. Video game consoles were something kids had, sure, but they were used on rainy days, or days when the motorbike was broken. No kid played games as their main source of entertainment.
Except me. It got to the stage where I was pissing off all my friends because all I wanted to do was play games.
Especially so when they had the latest and greatest thing and I didn't. I had an old Apple 2e when all my friends had a NES. I had the same Apple 2e when they all got SNES. When it was PC gaming, I always had the sub-standard machine that couldn't play the latest games. And what pissed me off so much was that the other kids weren't really into these games as much as I was. It was, for them, something for when the weather turned sour.
Eventually I left home, got a job and bought my own PC. Finally. At last I could be the gamer I wanted to be... Only everyone else was better at the latest and greatest games than me because I had been a generation or two behind everyone else for so long. Even with the best hardware, I found that I was still playing catch-up, but now with skill instead of technology.
Always one step behind. And the person in front doesn't even seem to really care about what they do, it's just a fun way to pass the time for them.
Vegeta, from Dragonball Z, had the same problem as me, except with martial arts rather than gaming. Always one step behind Goku. The prince of all Saiyans, second to an orphaned brat.
Over time Vegeta sort of joins the good guys, settles down and even starts a family... Then, just when you think he has gotten over his pride, he snaps and lets himself become a slave to the evil wizard Babidi and slaughters a stadium full of people. Vegeta has a couple of scenes where he goes on a rant about why he does what he does and it becomes apparent that even after all this time his pride was still consuming him. He had to be the best. He had to beat Goku, no matter the cost. Even if it meant killing his friends and family.
It was seeing this that made me realize how much my own pride was destroying my life. What does it matter if I'm not the best? I don't have to beat MC or Idra to be a gamer. I don't have to 1 v 5 NA'VI to be a gamer. All I have to do to be a gamer is play games, and have fun. That's it.
I know Dragonball Z has flaws. There are many anime series that are far better. But if it wasn't for Dragonball Z and Vegeta I would be bitter and unhappy. I am a better gamer, hell a better person, for having seen that show. So Vegeta is my number one fictional villain of all time.
I'm Scale Enlie, and that's what I reckon.
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Scale_e
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« Reply #8 on: February 11, 2013, 07:42:58 PM »

Top one thing that should never have been cancelled.

The tv show 'Gladiators'. Yep, you are not going crazy, I did indeed say Gladiators. I saw the Australian version when it aired back in 1995. I was around ten years old, so, naturally, I thought it was brilliant.
If you are not familiar with the show (I'm fairly sure that its based off an American show of the same name) it's basically this; The show has these guys (and girls) called gladiators. They are permanent competitors. They have awesome names like Hammer, Cougar, Blade or Storm. Each show they compete against new challengers with not-so-awesome names like Andrew Halliday or Bernadette Withers.
They fight with big, padded staves while swinging around on chains and its all so very camp. The show died after two seasons, probably with good reason, and I really wish it hadn't. Over here, unless you had pay-tv (and we did not), things like WWF and its costumed silliness were unobtainable. Gladiators was a taste of that, and I wish it had stayed with us.
I'm Scale Enlie, and that's what I reckon.
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Scale_e
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« Reply #9 on: February 13, 2013, 05:03:29 PM »


Re: Top five? Top one!
Top One Musicals

Ugh. Let me put on my Indiana Jones voice... 'Musicals, why'd it have to be musicals?' 'Aha. Broadway! Very dangerous... You go first.'
I really like the concept 'Show, don't tell.' Well, musicals tell, with music, so they tell poorly. Granted I've only seen a few musicals, but every one would have been, in my ever so humble opinion, better without all the singing and dancing. If I wanted all that, I'd go to a concert. If I want to watch a movie I'll go do that. I don't see why putting the two things together is in anyway an enjoyable experience.
So with that out of the way, here is my number one. The Blues Brothers. The only musical I've genuinely enjoyed. Great music, great dancing, great casting, great script... Just great all round really.
For me it's the only musical that breaks my concept of 'why put these two things together?' It is a story about music, so telling that story with music works.
Also, Carrie Fisher. Always welcome on any screen.
I'm Scale Enlie, and that's what I reckon.
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Scale_e
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« Reply #10 on: February 18, 2013, 12:30:41 AM »

Top one cartoon theme song.

X-men. The 90's one. Not the crappy one from the, I think, early 80's with vocals. No no no. The 90's one that everyone remembers.
I loved that show. It was amazing.
I grew up in a town where the only comics you could get were 'The Simpsons' and 'The Phantom' from the local newsagency. It meant that the universe of X-Men the cartoon, in our little corner of the world at least, was canon. This makes discussing X-Men on the Internet problematic because the comics and the the cartoon apparently don't agree on some things.
The opening sequence set the show up wonderfully. Magnetos faction against the X-Men with killer sound alongside it. You saw that opening and knew exactly what the show was about without any horrible, patronizing lyrics.
One of my favorite pieces of music, from one of my favorite cartoons.
I'm Scale Enlie, and that's what I reckon.
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Scale_e
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« Reply #11 on: February 19, 2013, 07:03:17 PM »

Top one fictional weapon.

My favorite weapon is a woman. That may be bending the rules slightly, but this isn't just any woman. This woman was created to fight evil and protect all forms of life in the galaxy. She is perfect. The supreme being.
I am, of course, talking about the character LeeLoo from the fifth element. 5'9", red hair, long legs, great skin, you know, perfect. And she is tough. Wow.
I get overly sentimental about some movies, and one scene that brings me to tears every time is when LeeLoo is on the computer learning to speak English. She comes across the word "War" and the images of death and destruction she sees crush her. She, the most powerful weapon ever created, is brought to tears when she sees the atrocities we have committed over the centuries. It says a lot about her character and even more about humanity. Gets me every time.
This whole film is about love conquering evil, and its just beautiful. LeeLoo is the perfect weapon and the perfect woman.
I'm Scale Enlie and that's what I reckon.
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Scale_e
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« Reply #12 on: February 20, 2013, 07:40:18 PM »

Number one sequel to anything.

Oh good god, where do I begin? PC Games? Fallout 2, Baldurs Gate 2, Jagged Alliance 2. NES games? Snakes revenge, Super Mario Bros 2. PS1 games? Resident Evil 2. Movies? Terminator 2, Aliens, The Empire Strikes back. Music? Rammsteins Sehnsucht, No Doubts Tragic Kingdom. Books? The restaurant at the end of the universe,  A Clash of Kings.
This list could go on forever. And all of the ones I listed were specifically seconds of a series, just to shorten it a bit.
This question is too hard. Way too hard, and I'm not going to attempt to refine it down to a single answer or even give a top five.
I'm Scale Enlie, and I really have no idea.
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Scale_e
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« Reply #13 on: February 21, 2013, 10:08:28 PM »

Top one video game song... From each platform.

Ok, I'm cheating a bit. The 'from each platform' part is there because there's no way in hell I could narrow it down to just one answer overall. In a lot of cases it's comparing apples and oranges, I mean how do I compare a big orchestral piece to a chip tune? Anyways, the following are my number ones.

NES - Snakes Revenge. Specifically the music from the jungle. I must have sunk 100+ hours into his game... And I never had a NES. All that time was at a friends house or on my PC with an emulator. In before "Filthy Pirate Scum!", I really don't think Konami cares if people download a dodgy ROM of snakes revenge.

SNES - Terranigma. The main title theme and the final boss fight have the same basic melody... And are both totally awesome. If you haven't played this game. Do so now. It is epic, in the true sense of the word.

PS1 - Final Fantasy VII. Cid's Theme. Poor Cid, sad characters tend to get great music though.

N64 - Goldeneye. The music from the first level, the dam. Great game and so far it's the only FPS I have enjoyed on a console. I've gone back and played it over many times. It holds up. It really does. Split screen, four player deathmatch for the win.

PC - Planescape Torment. The best soundtrack of any PC game ever. Full stop. The end. If I had to pick one track (and I guess I do) It would be the theme music for the tiefling thief Annah. Super cool character. Truly epic game. You must play this game. NOW.

iOS - Ascendancy. The theme music of the alien race known as the Sheevar. Creepy and awesome. Ascendancy was originally a PC game, ported over to iOS. Similar to Masters of Orion 2... but in my ever so humble opinion, better. Totally awesome soundtrack.

Gameboy Advance - Pokemon Fire Red. The tune from lavender town. Appropriately creepy. Great game. Again, in before "Filthy Pirate Scum!" I don't own a Gameboy Advance and there is no way in hell I'm going to buy one for a single game, and I'm not going to buy a DS just to play Black/White.
Nintendo, release your catalog of pokemon games on the Wii, which my girlfriend owns, I'd buy them. Release them on iOS, I'd buy them. Release them on PC, I'd buy them. Release them on all those platforms I mentioned, allow cross platform saves/battles/trades... I'd buy all of them. No joke, I'd buy them all. Just saying.
You are getting smashed in the console market, and you are about to be smashed in the handheld market. Bail out now. Just make games.

Anyways I'm getting a bit off topic. Ok, a lot off topic. So that'll have to do.
I'm Scale Enlie, and that's what I reckon.
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Alisha Mynx
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« Reply #14 on: February 22, 2013, 03:15:31 AM »

I don't own a Gameboy Advance and there is no way in hell I'm going to buy one for a single game, and I'm not going to buy a DS just to play Black/White.

DS/DS Lite (but not DSi or 3DS) have a GBA port on the bottom, though.  It is actually used in some of the DS Pokemon games to port Pokemon from your GBA games to your DS games if you wanted (although you can never send them back).  So if you can find a used DS that is in decent condition, you'd have no need for the GBA unless you wanted to play the Gamecube Pokemon games with your GBA Pokemon.
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