Physical Self-Improvement, appearance

[Navarre]

I was originally going to create a single, general self-improvement thread. But the number of factors that come into play with such a thing are so vast that it seemed likely the thread would be too disorganized. So I have broken the concept down into four categories: Physical (exercise/nutrition & appearance), Mental, and Spiritual.

Physical self-improvement in this thread concerns our appearance; both our literal appearance and the image we are hoping to project to others.

We care about how we look. That isn't superficial (although it could be) but is a powerful biological force in how we deal with others. Our perception of our own attractiveness also has a great deal to do with how we feel about ourselves.

Have you ever watched American Idol or perhaps the WWE? I have noticed how people go from generally attractive to superstardom as they become more popular.

Take, say, Carrie Underwood on American Idol. She was cute and all when she first auditioned. Then they get to Hollywood and her appearance improves twice over. By the time she is on her own and a big star she has those superstar looks.

Or take Shawn Michael from the WWE. Back in his Rocker days he was a good looking guy I guess and certainly in shape but nothing spectacular. Then he comes in as The Heartbreak Kid and he's some epitome of masculinity. The same goes for The Rock and many others.

You can probably think of other examples if you take a moment; stars who were once "good looking" but somehow became gorgeous.

Now of course we all know they have the advantage of nutritionists, makeup artists, tailors, stylists and so on to help them accomplish that. That's the real answer, sure.

But they, like us, have the raw material to be sculpted. So is it possible to achieve a reasonable degree of improvement in our appearance without a $1000/hr entourage?

[Blackthunder01]

Improving your image on TV is often part of the illusion of TV.  They're looking to build an every day person into a star on Idol so I'm sure that there are people whose job is to do specifically that (gradually).

For people like us, it comes down to dressing nice, doing your hair and not being a slob.

[Gaumer]

IDK

I'm 6'1" and 155 lbs. I have six pack abs and feel that I am fairly fit, but don't have bulging muscles. I have shoulder length, naturally curly hair. My wife thinks I'm adorable

I don't do crunches three times a week for me, I do it for her. She didn't ask, but, the same thing that makes me adore the fact that she does leg lifts three times a week, is the same thing that pushes me to crunch three times a week.

I doubt I would do any sort of activity to maintain my appearance if it wasn't for her and my desire to look good for her, at least in my own mind. Because I honestly feel that either of us could be dipped in acid and still have as strong a relationship as we do now. Although, if she wasn't around I may still be playing the field and the stomach doesn't stay as defined on its own like it used to. So I may be doing more.

Relevant: I don't do any other sort of muscle training. I ride a bike a few times a week for cardio and such, but I, somewhat, have noodle arms

[Navarre]

I, somewhat, have noodle arms

"Ramen Gaumer"? Do I have you name right? 

I think we should want to look good for our partner as well as ourselves. All people have some degree of concern for their own appearance and we also care about the people with whom we associate.

It is a herd and/or mating thing, if nothing else. Bottom line, anything that compels us to take better care of ourselves is good so long as we keep everything in balance and are not changing ourselves for the wrong reasons.

I want to look good for my partner and I want a partner who looks good in return. I think that is natural.

Yet, I am not sure how to effect the changes I want. For instance, my hair is very fine and only seems to work when first cut. But within days it starts spiking from my double-crown and I have trouble getting it to lay down. So if I am running or even just want to roll out of bed I am a mess no matter how short my hair is cut. Even a #2 guard cut from a razor will still spike the next day.

But I imagine one of these uber-stylists has the answer to that. I just don't know how to find it for myself since I don't live in Hollywood and can't afford a $500 haircut.

[Gaumer]

That sucks.

I wish I could feel your pain, but I have luscious locks of curly love dripping from my dome

[Navarre]

I would beat you with a hairbrush but I don't own one. lol

I seem to be perpetually pale and skinny with problem skin and bad hair. ... But I can't believe it is any more impossible for me to achieve a greater degree of attractiveness than it is for all those celebrities. I know I am only missing the right knowledge and tools.

... I just wish I knew what that was.

[@lantis]

Have you tried asking whomever cuts your hair about that?  I'm usually very impressed at how much my stylists know about post-visit hair care.  But given how little I know, I am probably easily impressed.

Best thing that I learned was find a style you like and try to copy it.  Then once you've copied it start changing it to fit some of the other things you like.  And most importantly make sure you have some friends of the gender you try to attract who can give you the other side's opinion.

My appearance is usually bordering on the "just rolled out of bed" side of things, but I always make sure to take care of the hygiene and don't let it drift into the "slob" part of the spectrum.  It allows me to do the things I like, such as skip a day of shaving or two, minimal time messing with my hair, and not thinking too hard about outfits.  It works well enough for me and I am happy with it, plus it makes me look even better when I get all dressed up for a special occasion (I have literally made jaws drop).

[Navarre]

Well, I've never made a jaw drop unless I was knocking someone out.

I have asked my stylist but they try things but I seem to get the same end result. I think the problem could be that the stylist herself doesn't have the aforementioned tools (ie, knowledge) to make me look th way I can envision. But I don't have that many choices around here.

I don't know how to make my hair have more body and texture and not look like a dandelion.

[@lantis]

Have you tried the old trick of finding a picture of what you want your hair to look like and bringing that in?

[Navarre]

What if I want to be a handsome black man? 

[Gaumer]

Are you going to SuperCuts? Cause they ain't going to cut it See what I did there?

My advice is to let it grow out for six months. After that, go to a real salon. Do your research. Know what you want and have a confidence that the place you are going can get it done. Use good product. A great conditioner is worth 3 stylists. Experiment.

[Navarre]

Yeah, maybe I don't put enough ongoing effort into it. I get up, shower with Head & Shoulders, towel dry, and add some hairspray to (unsuccessfully) try and build the illusion of body and non-frizz.

Maybe it requires more meticulous attention.

I think a person's hair has a major impact on their appearance and how others perceive them. The three things that bother me most about my appearance are my hair, lack of muscle mass even though I exercise, and my paleness.

It seems like my hair would be the easiest of the three to improve.

[chrysalis]

Just for the record, I think Navarre is one of the most handsome men I've ever known and I can't think of another man who I would want to spend an evening looking at or taking me out on a date.

I even believe your hair is one of the things I like the most about you. Minus the time you got a buzz cut. Did not like that.

[Gaumer]

Paleness is easy. Get some sun, dude

Muscle mass has been a problem for me my whole life. Definition is what I work on, and I'm doing ok with that.

Head and Shoulders is not going to be your best bet for product, dude. Honestly, its probably the reason for you follicle woes.

It drys more than it nourishes, and you are doing nothing to seal the hair, condition. Get stuff for your hair type and spend $10 to $20 EACH on the shampoo and conditioner.

I'd suggest going to a notable salon nearby, but try this too

http://www.totalbeauty.com/content/quizzes/q-shampoo-conditioner

[Navarre]

I will have to pay you a consulting fee for this advice, won't I?

I will try to work more intelligently with my hair. I'd like to think there is hope for it.

As for the sun, I don't seem to tan well. I'm not out much, don't want to lay out, and think tanning beds are unhealthy.

Of course, other than enough of a tan to protect myself during sun exposure, I might be healthier to avoid a lot of active tanning anyway. But I'd like to go running and bike riding and such and my legs look like they belong on a zombie-fish.