DND best EPIC FAIL

[Navarre]

A couple levels of Rogue at the start to get the skill points before multi-classing into Sorcerer or Wizard has worked well for me. But, in general, I really didn't find multi-classing to be as good as playing a straight class.

[Jon1337]

I could post endlessly, but this moment is worth sharing.

Playing Dragonlance 2.0 with a group of friends lonnnnnnng ago, we were all given premade characters to "expand our role-playing skills." I- usually the elf ranger- end up with a dwarf. Our usual spellcaster ended up with a human fighter, and our usual fighter ended up with the thief. After a few sessions of exploring and developing our new characters, we moved on to actual encounters.

Our DM wasn't particularly creative, and so was having us play through the War of the Lance. Having only just begun this campaign, our party discovered a group of draconians torturing an elf. Attempting to sneak up on said party of draconians, we split apart, sending the thief into the foliage in order to keep an ace in the hole, so to speak.

Diplomacy failed miserably when one of the draconians noticed that my dwarf- Sedimentary of Greyhill, affectionately referred to as Sed- was holding his axe behind his back. Of course, he noticed this because Sed was short even for a dwarf and the axe was a two-handed weapon. Not particularly subtle, but hey, he tried. The draconians took offense to this, and moved in to engage my dwarf and our human fighter.

Now, while this has been occurring, our thief was watching intently from the bushes, and had chosen to wait until the five draconians were focused on the rest of the party before moving in to rescue the elf. Cue the appropriate rolls for successful sneaking.


...cue the inevitable botch.

Everyone heard this: *crunch, crunch, crunch... crunchcrunchcrunch... crunch... crunchcrunchcrunchSNAP!" "...ohhh, hell."

Needless to say, after miraculously surviving the draconians, the thief was nicknamed "Crunchy."

Lmfao call him Captain Crunch 

[Jon1337]

Today, in the second adventure, we had a player try and do the following in a 4.0 game.
Be a Ranger 2/Rogue 1/Barbarian 1
He also took feats from 3.5 books.


What was the fail was on our part. We didn't figure it out until just before the last battle, when he mentioned that he was a gnome ranger wielding a superior crossbow.
We asked if he took the feat for the weapon and that he couldn't hold a superior crossbow as a gnome, because it was too big.
His character broke down from there when he mentioned that he took barbarian levels to gain proficiency in superior crossbows and spent all of his money on a +2 crossbow.

How could we not notice!? Oh yeah, easily. We had only 1 battle, and he did nothing but Twin Strike in the first battle...without applying quarry damage, because the foes were in darkness.

Now he is a Thrikeen Ranger and everything is fine, since he can now swap weapons super quickly. He loves double attacking, and my artificer loves buffing his attacks from the back.

A fail, but with a save at the end of the day. I say this is neutral on the fail meter haha.

[Jon1337]

In a recent adventure, my character (6 Rogue) was the laconic member of a party that rescued a young boy from his witch/demon mother (not sure which yet; campaign is ongoing). We wanted to bring him back down the mountain on which the battle occurred, but there was a small gap we had leapt over to get up to the top. Rather than toss the youngin' back over the chasm, the party agreed it was a better idea to construct a ballista from materials procured in the densely wooded area of the mountain. Using his expert thievery, my character built the ballista.

But then our Paladin decided to jerry-rig some exploding potions as rocket boosters.

There was a skill challenge and my character was the only one to succeed. The child was flung at high velocity into the air, but his trajectory was such that he smashed into the rockface on the opposite side of the gap and tumbled down the mountain to his death.

On the up side - we found his body and cast a spell of preservation. Just in case we discover an orthopedic surgeon during our travels.

Hahahaha hold on kid everything will be okay, then SPLAT!

[JimTheFly]

Well, it's been forever since I've gotten to play, but I do remember one funny story of fail from my last campaign.

The party met on a boat heading to a harbor town.  The boat was attacked by pirates who stole a bunch of stuff, then made off in their own ship.  We get into town and decide to work together to try and figure out what we can do, since we all lost a lot of equipment/money as the hook.

The second night we're in town, we head toward the docks in a different area of the town.  We can see the pirate ship docked at one of the piers... which is extending from some land where a city guard watchtower is.  We notice some guards around the base of the gangplank.  I'm playing a rogue and figure "Okay, lemme see how close I can get to scout this out."  I mention that I'm sneaking around the other side of the tower and staying in the shadows to get the best view I can find. 

DM asks for a roll.  *roll*... 1.

DM: "You trip and fall in the water."
Me: "Wait, WHAT?  Dude, you said the tower was a good 30 feet from the water!!  I can't trip and fall THAT far!!!"
DM: *thinks after a little more arguing* "Okay, fine.  Roll again to see if you can catch yourself.  But if you roll too low, you're in the water."
Me: "Sounds good to me. *rolls* And anyway, it's not like I'm gonna roll anoth... ... ... $(*!$ YOU!!!!!!!!"  *stares at a second consecutive 1*
*Everyone explodes in laughter while I'm giving the Stone Cold Steve Austin 2-fingered salute to my d20*
DM: "Not only did you trip, but you cried out and fell into the water.  The guards are alerted and you are now 10 feet underwater."

We played every week for about 3 months before I had to stop because my job changed my hours.  These were the only 2 Nat 1's I rolled the entire time.  (In fact, my next roll was a Nat 20.  Go figure.)

[Navarre]

I once DMed a game where I had a player who was terrible when it came to role-playing. He just didn't have it in him.

He was playing a fighter named Bootstrap. ... That's what he had going for him.

But there came a pivotal moment where he was the only character speaking to a 16th level NPC cleric. Bootstrap was 3rd level at that time.

It was one of those moments that decide the course of the campaign and the other players cringed when it was Bootstrap who was doing the talking. He tried to bluff the NPC.

I didn't want to penalize the player for poor skills so I tried to put more weight on the dice roll than I usually do. Bootstrap rolls a Nat 20. ... The 16th level NPC, rolls a Nat 1.

And that's how Bootstrap became famous.

[Jon1337]

Well, it's been forever since I've gotten to play, but I do remember one funny story of fail from my last campaign.

The party met on a boat heading to a harbor town.  The boat was attacked by pirates who stole a bunch of stuff, then made off in their own ship.  We get into town and decide to work together to try and figure out what we can do, since we all lost a lot of equipment/money as the hook.

The second night we're in town, we head toward the docks in a different area of the town.  We can see the pirate ship docked at one of the piers... which is extending from some land where a city guard watchtower is.  We notice some guards around the base of the gangplank.  I'm playing a rogue and figure "Okay, lemme see how close I can get to scout this out."  I mention that I'm sneaking around the other side of the tower and staying in the shadows to get the best view I can find. 

DM asks for a roll.  *roll*... 1.

DM: "You trip and fall in the water."
Me: "Wait, WHAT?  Dude, you said the tower was a good 30 feet from the water!!  I can't trip and fall THAT far!!!"
DM: *thinks after a little more arguing* "Okay, fine.  Roll again to see if you can catch yourself.  But if you roll too low, you're in the water."
Me: "Sounds good to me. *rolls* And anyway, it's not like I'm gonna roll anoth... ... ... $(*!$ YOU!!!!!!!!"  *stares at a second consecutive 1*
*Everyone explodes in laughter while I'm giving the Stone Cold Steve Austin 2-fingered salute to my d20*
DM: "Not only did you trip, but you cried out and fell into the water.  The guards are alerted and you are now 10 feet underwater."

We played every week for about 3 months before I had to stop because my job changed my hours.  These were the only 2 Nat 1's I rolled the entire time.  (In fact, my next roll was a Nat 20.  Go figure.)

Lmfao reminds me of my party's rogue that tried to scaled a stone wall in the rain without any gear. He ended up near death fast 

[Web.Metz]

Today I did the stupidest thing, I split the party as a mage.

I was playing a Shade Mage, and tried sneaking out of the room so I could come back and attack with combat advantage, however...the two crossbow druegar followed me.

I broke the rule, and almost payed the price.
"Never split the party"

[Gaumer]

I broke the rule, and almost payed the price.
"Never split the party"

I thought splitting the party was mandatory...maybe its just the game

[Navarre]

I broke the rule, and almost payed the price.
"Never split the party"

I thought splitting the party was mandatory...maybe its just the game

Apparently it is mandatory.     

[Jon1337]

I was always to to never split the party and the one time it did, my character ended up dead lol.

[ScoughtFree]

My character, a cleric of Pelor, had to speak to a Dwarven Thane as part of a skills challenge.  I delivered what I thought was a brilliant speech where I made the argument that the thane's argument was a weakness against the villain of the piece, "where you would announce your presence and face your foe head on, this cult will whisper in the ears of your men, driving them to madness..."  Everyone at the table, including the DM, was happy with the speech...

and then I rolled a natural 1 and almost lost the challenge for everyone. 

[Navarre]

That would be one of those cases where I would not penalize the player for a random Nat 1 after something so well-played.

[jcrowe89]

Okay New DM with a New Party Fail time

The SoW adventure path Rescue at Rivenroar skill challenge to find the crypt...
I let them come up with obstacles they faced and my ten year old little brother decided to use his vampire acrobatics to grab the other party members and jump over a 15ft chasm...and he rolled a nat 1...and they all lost one healing surge which didn't really hurt the vampire since 4e vamps can gain healing surges through attacking lol, but the other party members were a little ticked off at him!

[Cheesedemon88]

This happened in the group I'm DMing for, they are currently level 3, they have had a lot of deRp moments, but this one is the worst one  :

So the party, consisting of a wood elf rouge, a mixed origin elf ranger, a drow bard, a half-sunelf paladin and a useless moonelf macguffin went to the Faywild to ask said paladin's father for a favour. When they arrived at the doors they were greeted by the family butler who asked the paladin who his friends were, in his infinite wisdom he whispered "they are not my friends, they are following me" as a joke.

I figured I would have some fun at this point

So the butler showed the characters to a room and went to inform the father that his son were being held captive against his will. After a while the father came and got his son out of the room while they were talking it came clear that the party were indeed friends of the paladin and that he was just trying to pull a stupid joke, at witch the father replied "Oh dear, I hope they are still alive"

Meanwhile the party, suspecting nothing, heard the doors to the room being locked from the outside before tree sun-elf warriors teleported in to the room. Now, I thought I would make this a swift battle, so I picked out some level 7 eladrin warriors, so that they would take down the party fast, but non lethal, of course. This was all well and good if it hadn't been for the fact that one of the warriors took down the already bloodied rouge to his negative bloodied value in one hit, thus killing him instantly.

So, the moral of the story is bad humour kills