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thedexter102
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« Reply #60 on: September 24, 2010, 12:46:04 PM » |
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Dude your a genuis.
EDIT: I wonder... Well I wonder all the time but, still, I wonder.
I wonder if the smiles on their faces are forced. if I’m “good” enough. if what I eat will kill me. if my life will kill my children. if everything is real.
I wonder what we are. what they want from me. what is making me write this. what is perception. what will I have tomorrow
I wonder why I dread it so much. why they want so much of me. why I only appear this way. why I’m alive at all. why I don't know yet.
I wonder... if I need to wonder less.
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Navarre
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« Reply #61 on: September 24, 2010, 12:47:49 PM » |
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Dude your a genuis. Thanks. Good poem, Dex.
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thedexter102
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« Reply #62 on: September 24, 2010, 12:50:38 PM » |
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I have sevaral more of those including one about being a poem. I'd like to here some origanl Spoilerite poetry because we havn't had much yet.
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Navarre
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« Reply #63 on: September 24, 2010, 12:53:20 PM » |
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Your light beckons me from places I cannot go, Teasing my upturned face; expectant and longing.
I am a candle lit inside the sun, Consumed by your radiance and burned away.
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thedexter102
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« Reply #64 on: September 24, 2010, 01:00:54 PM » |
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I am a candle lit inside the sun,
ohhh, me like.
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Navarre
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« Reply #65 on: September 24, 2010, 01:04:02 PM » |
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It is a poem I wrote a long time ago for a woman I still love. As you can see, the love was (and is still) unrequited.
Her very existence and presence was so overwhelming that it inspired the candle line. Ah, stupid romantic love.
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thedexter102
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« Reply #66 on: September 24, 2010, 01:13:14 PM » |
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It's worse when they don't return those feelings. 
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Navarre
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« Reply #67 on: September 24, 2010, 01:16:38 PM » |
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Tell me about it.
I've moved on but it's not like you can choose to stop loving someone. I think of her daily even though I haven't seen her in over three years. It still aches.
There will come a time when I will see her again on a regular basis. When that time comes I am determined not to let my feeling cause issues between us or impair what should otherwise be a happy life.
But you wanted poetry and that's the first one that I remembered.
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thedexter102
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« Reply #68 on: September 25, 2010, 06:24:03 AM » |
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It's good.
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thedexter102
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« Reply #69 on: October 08, 2010, 11:56:26 AM » |
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It was national Poetry day in the UK yesterday so to celebrate here's a poem by a freind of mine:
Tangled Web
I weave a tangled web But files are not my prey Humans are the prey I seek In a web of lies
My web clutches to pillars Pillars of evidence I've built If you look closely ,you can tell And my web of lies will come crumbling down
My prey walks into my web of lies Some planned some not I cut them loose, I can't risk My web of lies crumbling down
My web begins to break in places People escape My pillars fall, one by one And my web of lies crumbles around me.
I lie in the remains of my web of lies And my once prey gathers around me And I realise my web of lies has killed me
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@lantis
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« Reply #70 on: October 08, 2010, 11:43:30 PM » |
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So dexter, I have one critique of your Wonder poem. I don't believe "good" should be in quotations marks. I don't know about you, but I feel the line is more powerful if you are actually wondering about self-worth. By putting it in quotations you imply that you've kind of already made up your mind on the issue because you're judging the phrase.
Tangled Web was good in idea, but I felt the pacing was off on a lot of lines. I also wish it used more imagery, but that's just me.
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thedexter102
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« Reply #71 on: October 09, 2010, 03:42:23 AM » |
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It's not mine but I really like it.
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Navarre
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« Reply #72 on: October 09, 2010, 09:56:42 AM » |
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Tangled Web doesn't touch me at all. I think Wonder is good.
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thedexter102
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« Reply #73 on: November 07, 2010, 12:43:36 PM » |
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Ok as promised in the NaNoRiMo thread here is the poem dated Nov 3 this year. (Side note if you have no idea what I'm talking about click here: http://www.majorspoilers.com/smf/index.php/topic,2158.0.html ) It's called Tiny Dancer and is based upon the song of the same name. Here we go: Hold me closer, Tiny Dancer, Let the waves roll over your back. Let the Serenity fade and the lights Die. Let the living curse and the dead scream. Let the fire crackel and the time dwindel. Let the memorys overtake you Don't let them wake you. Let the feeling disipate Let them all anticipate. Let the melody flow and the music linger. Hold me closer, Tiny Dancer. And never let me go.
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Navarre
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« Reply #74 on: November 07, 2010, 04:11:25 PM » |
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Edits for you: "memorys" should be "memories" and "disipate" should be "dissipate".
I like the poem though. Painful, like most good poetry. *grins*
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