WWE

[Navarre]

I want a slow-motion, hair-blowing entrance like John Morrison. That would be so awesome when I come into Wal-Mart to shop!!   

[The_Julian]

Personally I'd like one like Shawn Michaels' so that every time I crouched for something, fireworks would go off.

It'd be like: "Hey look, a penny!" *explosions in the background*

[Navarre]

Yes, but do you look good flexing your bicep while you're picking up that penny?

Back in 1997 (prime HBK years) my ex-wife and I were at an event and Shawn actually hugged her. I thought she was going to have an aneurysm.

Just don't do the HHH entrance at Wal-Mart. They might kick you out for spitting water everywhere.

[Navarre]

This is the buzz all over the wrestling boards:

"Hardy was arrested after a search of his residence yielded 262 Vicodin prescription pills, 180 Soma prescription pills, 555 milliliters of anabolic steroids, a residual amount of powder cocaine and items of drug paraphernalia, according to a press release."

I can't confirm any of this. The above quote is from some board I don't know called pilot.com. This is all IMDB is talkign about.

Could be a rumor. But supposedly Jim Ross commented on this as well.

Whether true or not, Jeff's career will forever be marred with these scandals. That is a sad thing for one so incredibly talented.

[Navarre]

Trish Stratus was the guest host on Raw tonight (9/14/09). She's gone brunette.  Brunettes make me happy.

[The_Julian]

As a quick aside, Turns out Jeff Hardy was indeed stupid as all get out got himself arrested for possession and intent to traffic narcotics.  What an idiot. The official charge reads: "Living in the moment,"

I guess this shouldn't be a surprise. It's not like he ever said that his drug days were behind him. Whenever Punk made a comment on them he would be like "Oh yeah?!? Well... I'm gonna be the next champion!!!" and the crowd would go crazy. Or another one wold be, "Your three words are 'Just say No,' mine are STEEL CAGE MATCH!!!" yaaaaaaaay.

Or my personal favorite that made him sound like a 14-year-old defending his habits from his parents "I guess I just can't be as perfect as you." Jeff seriously, this is like your 500th strike dude. Seek help.

[Navarre]

I feel really bad for any person who can't get their life together. No one wakes up as a little boy and says "I want to grow up to be a druggie or a murderer."

I know people are responsible for their own actions. And I 100% agree with that. Our choices are ours and ours alone and we do not have the right to blame anything else.

But looking at the totality of experience that goes into making an adult, so many kids just never had the right experiences to give them a healthy perspective toward the world. There are so many people out there that, while not bad people, are simply...broken.

Jeff Hardy, for all of his talent and fame, seems to be one such person. That is sad.

But he has been down this road more than once. He knows where it leads. That too is experience.

At some point it all evens out and a person, as an adult, has experienced enough of life to know where choices will lead. They then have to decide which choices he wants to repeat. Jeff is not making the right choice.

[The_Julian]

Unfortunately... Smackdown seems to have fallen from grace recently. What was just a few weeks ago a show that featured some smart and action packed matches has now devolved into the realm of insanity with stupid skits (like that awful Undertaker Limo stunt a few weeks ago).  I really liked this show before they brought back that moron of pure blandness Batista and that legend of occasional blandness, The Undertaker (Oh, come on, he loses on every PPV except for Wrestlemania and he never holds the world title for longer than a month anymore)

There's still hope Smackdown. Rey's coming back and you've got Morrison, Punk, Ziggler, and others that can put on matches instead of constant plays to the crowd.

[Navarre]

Yeah, Smackdown  has everything going for it. The last thing they should do is go the path that Raw has gone. I don't even bother with that show any more.

[The Mighty King Cobra]

I don't regularly watch wrestling anymore, but I keep in touch with it.  And, as many of you who listen closely may have noticed, I do have my own create-a-wrestler federation on whatever the latest game is (currently Smackdown Vs. Raw 2006, I'm a bit behind) and used to write for a fantasy wrestling federation or six.

Right now, I have unified the World Championships on Blue Steele (a chubby blue-bearded Iowa father of four who dances to the ring and has a finisher called "Boot2DaHead ((Ya YAAA!))") after a triple threat match with El Hombre Sin Nombre and Syd Colt (only the second woman to hold the WIBWF championship.)  Syd and Steele had a hard time dealing with the giant rudo and his constant illegal maneuvers, but a combination of the Colt 45 and THREE Boot2DaHeads put his down for the count.

The United States Heavyweight Championship currently belongs to Big Sky, of Helena Montana, while the Intercontinental Championship (referred to in WIBWF lore as the "Eurocontinental Belt") is up for grabs, having been vacated by Blue Steele before his Championship match.  Top contenders for that belt are Noodles MacIntyre (The West Texas Cyclone) and Enzio "Frickin" Beemish, and the winner of that match will then become #1 contender for the World Championship.

The two Tag Team Titles are held by, respectively, The Bruise Brothers (Jake and Elwood) who beat down Beevle X and Jumpin' Jack Flash (collectively known as The Impact Playas) at the recent "Hey, You That's My Scooter!" pay-per-view held in Paris, France.  The World Tag Team belts are currently held by The Unholy Alliance (Father Doom and Dreadnaught 2000) who easily defended them against The In-Crowd (Way Cool Junior and Supafly) thanks to their manager, Sister Sinister and a steel chair.  The future, however, holds the threat of "Permanent Midnight," the team of Abraham "Daaaaaamn Right" Brown and Rufus "Super Midnight" Carter, who have a few surprises in store for the UA.

The Cruiserweight Championship (also known as the "Fastdraw Title") is held by Hypnosis, El Luchador Mas Loco, who is currently being challenged by Zen motorcyclist Infinite Rider on The Big Dogma, and the Women's Champion is the Hardcore (In More Ways Than One) Legend, Wham Bam Pam, whose rivalry with "Bad Ass" Alison Lee has led to a couple of four-star matches in recent weeks. 

SD/R has two additional championships, the Hardcore Title, currently in the possession of the interestingly named Mighty King Cobra, who will soon collide with 'The All-American' Daniel Rydell, and the Million-Dollar Championship, worn (for now) by Debbie, The Mighty Librarian, who better watch her back for 'Fast Eddie' Stowell. 

Also in the mix are my custom-created Six-Man Tag Team belts, carried by the tag team who call themselves "We Look Great Naked," consisting of Mistress Jessica, her partner/wife Angel Rose, and their manager, the six-foot-four-inch gothic lolita called Titania.  Look for those beltsto be defended soon against the unlikely team of Sergeant Bullethead, "Hercules" Jones and the Philosophical Doctor Zero in the near future, as our next pay-per-view ("Season's Beatings") will be taking place the week of Thanksgiving...

And don't forget the "Loser Leaves For About Six Weeks" match at SB, featuring The Lizard King and his consort Kiana against Jack "The Veteran" Garrick and nine-time women's champion Nicole Thunder...  Will the royal family really banish the fan-favorites from the ring?  Or can The Veteran and The Thunderbolt finally prevail against the devastating power of "The Crowning Achievement?"  Stay tuned to channel 143 for more WIBWF action, sports fans!

[Navarre]

I got everything but what "WIBWF" stands for.

No wonder you don't watch wrestling. You're too busy making up your own.  lol

[The Mighty King Cobra]

World Intergender B-something or other Wrestling Federation.

WIBW is one of the oldest television stations in Kansas, and when I worked there around 1999, we used to hook up my N64 to the giant 600 inch sports monitor and the production and master control guys would battle for the championships.  The best moment came when the General Manager walked in, watched us wrestle, watched my partner and I run a perfect commercial break and go straight back to the game, and just nodded and said, "Carry on." 

[Navarre]

LOL Classic!

Surprised you ever left.

[The Mighty King Cobra]

There's no money in television, especially in market #138.

[Navarre]

Fair enough. But once you take your new role as head of the Serpent Society you can start up your wrestling federation. The WWE needs more competition. It has gotten stale.