I broke out laughing

Super epic!

The cities flowing in orbit! Who come up with those things?

Well, it's been forever since I've gotten to play, but I do remember one funny story of fail from my last campaign.

The party met on a boat heading to a harbor town.  The boat was attacked by pirates who stole a bunch of stuff, then made off in their own ship.  We get into town and decide to work together to try and figure out what we can do, since we all lost a lot of equipment/money as the hook.

The second night we're in town, we head toward the docks in a different area of the town.  We can see the pirate ship docked at one of the piers... which is extending from some land where a city guard watchtower is.  We notice some guards around the base of the gangplank.  I'm playing a rogue and figure "Okay, lemme see how close I can get to scout this out."  I mention that I'm sneaking around the other side of the tower and staying in the shadows to get the best view I can find. 

DM asks for a roll.  *roll*... 1.

DM: "You trip and fall in the water."
Me: "Wait, WHAT?  Dude, you said the tower was a good 30 feet from the water!!  I can't trip and fall THAT far!!!"
DM: *thinks after a little more arguing* "Okay, fine.  Roll again to see if you can catch yourself.  But if you roll too low, you're in the water."
Me: "Sounds good to me. *rolls* And anyway, it's not like I'm gonna roll anoth... ... ... $(*!$ YOU!!!!!!!!"  *stares at a second consecutive 1*
*Everyone explodes in laughter while I'm giving the Stone Cold Steve Austin 2-fingered salute to my d20*
DM: "Not only did you trip, but you cried out and fell into the water.  The guards are alerted and you are now 10 feet underwater."

We played every week for about 3 months before I had to stop because my job changed my hours.  These were the only 2 Nat 1's I rolled the entire time.  (In fact, my next roll was a Nat 20.  Go figure.)

In a recent adventure, my character (6 Rogue) was the laconic member of a party that rescued a young boy from his witch/demon mother (not sure which yet; campaign is ongoing). We wanted to bring him back down the mountain on which the battle occurred, but there was a small gap we had leapt over to get up to the top. Rather than toss the youngin' back over the chasm, the party agreed it was a better idea to construct a ballista from materials procured in the densely wooded area of the mountain. Using his expert thievery, my character built the ballista.

But then our Paladin decided to jerry-rig some exploding potions as rocket boosters.

There was a skill challenge and my character was the only one to succeed. The child was flung at high velocity into the air, but his trajectory was such that he smashed into the rockface on the opposite side of the gap and tumbled down the mountain to his death.

On the up side - we found his body and cast a spell of preservation. Just in case we discover an orthopedic surgeon during our travels.

Today, in the second adventure, we had a player try and do the following in a 4.0 game.
Be a Ranger 2/Rogue 1/Barbarian 1
He also took feats from 3.5 books.


What was the fail was on our part. We didn't figure it out until just before the last battle, when he mentioned that he was a gnome ranger wielding a superior crossbow.
We asked if he took the feat for the weapon and that he couldn't hold a superior crossbow as a gnome, because it was too big.
His character broke down from there when he mentioned that he took barbarian levels to gain proficiency in superior crossbows and spent all of his money on a +2 crossbow.

How could we not notice!? Oh yeah, easily. We had only 1 battle, and he did nothing but Twin Strike in the first battle...without applying quarry damage, because the foes were in darkness.

Now he is a Thrikeen Ranger and everything is fine, since he can now swap weapons super quickly. He loves double attacking, and my artificer loves buffing his attacks from the back.

I could post endlessly, but this moment is worth sharing.

Playing Dragonlance 2.0 with a group of friends lonnnnnnng ago, we were all given premade characters to "expand our role-playing skills." I- usually the elf ranger- end up with a dwarf. Our usual spellcaster ended up with a human fighter, and our usual fighter ended up with the thief. After a few sessions of exploring and developing our new characters, we moved on to actual encounters.

Our DM wasn't particularly creative, and so was having us play through the War of the Lance. Having only just begun this campaign, our party discovered a group of draconians torturing an elf. Attempting to sneak up on said party of draconians, we split apart, sending the thief into the foliage in order to keep an ace in the hole, so to speak.

Diplomacy failed miserably when one of the draconians noticed that my dwarf- Sedimentary of Greyhill, affectionately referred to as Sed- was holding his axe behind his back. Of course, he noticed this because Sed was short even for a dwarf and the axe was a two-handed weapon. Not particularly subtle, but hey, he tried. The draconians took offense to this, and moved in to engage my dwarf and our human fighter.

Now, while this has been occurring, our thief was watching intently from the bushes, and had chosen to wait until the five draconians were focused on the rest of the party before moving in to rescue the elf. Cue the appropriate rolls for successful sneaking.


...cue the inevitable botch.

Everyone heard this: *crunch, crunch, crunch... crunchcrunchcrunch... crunch... crunchcrunchcrunchSNAP!" "...ohhh, hell."

Needless to say, after miraculously surviving the draconians, the thief was nicknamed "Crunchy."

You can always count on ThinkGeek to have some pretty awesome (and distinctive) stuff.

That link was to a search term on key chains.

In there is a pewter-looking Serenity (from Firefly), a headphone splitter (for those times you want to share music but not ear wax), and a humping robot...who could ask for anything more?

No... We all thought it was funny.  Well I did until he nearly killed me...

Trust me you dont want them.

Nat 1s are a killer, aren't they? heh

My own irl PC was in a fight this weekend against an adversary that I'd been waiting on for 3 weeks.

My opponent Crits.

I roll a Nat 1.

Game over, dude. Game over. 

They may i'm sending some homebrew tentacle monsters at them before they finish up this minor arc

that's what I said. I wasn't saying a group will completely fall on one camp or the other (if they did there wouldn't be any problems). Your DM is probably not comfortable with it.

Are you still in that campaign? What levels are they now? Send Terror at them...