Or - “The Thirst For Power Isn’t Always A Selfish Endeavor…”

Even when you take into account the length and breadth of my comic knowledge, and my love of the Legion, there’s inevitably going to be somebody who is my least favorite.  (My Top Ten fave-raves?  1) Blok.  2) Matter-Eater Lad.  3) Bouncing Boy.  4) Wildfire.  5)  Pre-Crisis Ferro Lad.  6) Ultra Boy.  7) XS.  8) Tyroc.  9) Polar Boy.  10) Mon-El.)  Still, the entire point of the Hero History exercise, other than serving as an outlet for my creative/didactic urges, is to identify that which makes each hero uniquely awesome, and none deserve (perhaps even NEED) this treatment more than today’s subject.  I’ve mentioned before how certain Hero Histories were more difficult than I expected, but his one was easier than I thought.  I honestly expected myself to be among those needing to be converted to see the light, but the during the perusal of her history found myself reminded of the very point that makes the Legion great: Everyone has something to contribute.  This, then, is your Major Spoilers Hero History of Zoe Saugin of Aleph…  Kinetix!

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Or - “Making The World Safe For Skin-Tight Red Hotpants…  Thank Rao!”

In the 70 years since the advent of Superman, there have been a great many superheroes, with varying raisons d’etre.  Some came to cash in on trends, some to break new ground, some to irritate, some to ingratiate, and some to infiltrate.  But today’s entrant seemingly comes from the basest of all creative wells: protection of copyright.  Like Jessica Drew, Carol Danvers, Kathy Kane, and others, our hero du jour is a female version of an existing hero.  Unlike any of those others, she managed to carrying her own book on at least FIVE occasions (though that does raise the point that it was cancelled FOUR times) and was a fixture of the DC Universe for decades.  Many of the Legionnaires possessed powers on her level, but few matched her for sheer tenacity and dedication.  Though her beauty was legendary, her mind was a match for Brainiac 5 himself, and her dedication to protecting innocents led to one of the most tragic moments in comic history.  This, then, is your Major Spoilers Hero History of Kara Zor-El of Argo City…  Supergirl!

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Or - “Overlook Him At Your Own Peril…”

Lyyyyle Nooorg!  Lyyle Norg!  Riding through the laaaand…

Lyyyyle Nooorg!  Lyyle Norg!  With a beige headbaaaand!

Sometimes I write little bits of doggerel to fill in the spaces and format the images in Wordpress, but that one cracks me up so completely, I thought I’d leave it in.  Of the many Legionnaires over the years, there have been a seemingly inordinate number of what the superhero RPG community calls “bricks.”  Mon-El, Tom Welling, Andromeda, Supergirl, Thunder, Ultra Boy, Kent Shakespeare, even my beloved Blok fall into the category of “Legionnaires Whose Job It Is To Hit $#!+ Really Hard.”  But as we have seen previously, the ranks of the LSH also include many whose powers are of a more subtle bent, and none more so that today’s entrant.  It’s fitting that of all the Legionnaires, his motives are among the least obvious.  Not merely content to make his entire body disappear, he managed to keep his past likewise unseen.  His resume includes runs as a spy, an inventor, and Legion leader, and he managed to keep an entire relationship under the radar of the Legion (and the readers.)  Though his story may have ended (if things in comics can be said to end) in tragedy, his legacy lived on.  This, then, is your Major Spoilers Hero History of Lyle Norg of Earth…  Invisible Kid!

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Or - “You Waste 10 Lifetimes In A Cosmic Peepshow & See How Normal YOU Are…”

In this, the fiftieth anniversary year of that futuristic bunch of super-teens known as the Legion of Super-Heroes, we’re continuing our in-depth look at children of the future (teach them well, and let them lead the way to kick the behinds of the Fatal Five.)  We turn our sights today to the man who was, quite possibly, the most powerful hero alive in the pre-Crisis DCU.  When Superman could fly through suns, move the Earth out of orbit, and see thousands of miles in any direction, and do virtually ANYTHING at all…  Now, imagine meeting his big brother!  Imagine a stronger Superman, with no Kryptonite weakness, with the mind of a scientist, with a stronger education, but without all the “Boo hoo!  My mommy and daddy were vaporized and now the last fragments of my ancestral home are poison to me blah blah blah fishcakes.”  He called the Legion home for decades, but before that he spent centuries as a phantom overseeing the universe, adding a fierce knowledge of history to his list of assets.  More power than the man who was more powerful than a locomotive, the Man Of Tomorrow’s day after, this, then, is your Major Spoilers Hero History of Lar Gand of Daxam…  Mon-El!

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Or - “They Also Serve Those Who Mostly Stand And Snark…”

The REAL trick of writing these Hero Histories is finding my inner fanboy for each and every lad, lass, kid and queen of the Legion, from their flight-belt heydey, through the salad days of the 70s & 80’s, through Giffen’s blotches, Lightle’s mullets, the Archie Legion’s tongue fetish, and the strange melange that was the 2003 revamp.  Heck, I even found the time to feel the love for the Legion’s very own Isaac Hayes stereotype (Jus’ talking ’bout Tyroc… Awww, yeaaah!) so, you’d think that no Legionnaire is beneath my notice, and you’d be mostly right.  But there are a few whom I have had to go and research, to dig for their moments in the sun, and none more so than our current entrant.  He is, if you believe the internets, one of the most hated parts of the Reboot Legion (right up there with Sensor as a giant cobra and Element Lad’s descent into madness) and his powers quickly became deus ex machina.  He also nearly sacrificed himself to save the entire universe, and it is to my eternal shame that I forgot that it wasn’t a real death, and that he returned to duty afterwards.  Ever the iconoclast, politically minded; solitary by nature, but a good friend despite that fact; his sardonic voice kept the occasionally saccharine “Archie Legion” years from being too sweet and agreeable.  Irascable, prickly, but never ignored, he was the only really ALIEN alien to make the cut in the Legion’s second bright and shiny 30th Century.  This is your Major Spoilers Hero History of Ti’julk Mr’asz of Vyrga…  Gates!

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Or - “The Sentry Wasn’t Marvel’s FIRST Answer To Superman…”

It’s been a week or two since the first issue of the “reimagining” of Omega The Unknown came out, and I’ve been perusing what some of the other internet wags and comic store customers (Gatekeeper Hobbies! Huntoon and Gage, Topeka! Ask about our Clearance Table, approved by the Thunder God himself!) and it seems like most of the discussion is about how the book compares to it’s predecessor. Indeed, at least one of the online reviews seems as much a review of Steve Gerber’s 1975 Omega #1 as it was Jonathan Lethem’s 2007 Omega #1, which set my mental wheels in motion, and thus was born the first-ever “MYLAR SMACKDOWN.” In this corner, weighing in 4.9 ounces, wearing the yellow cover with the chipped corner… Omega The Unknoooooown! And, in this corner, weighing 4.2 ounces, wearing a strange mauve cover with a hand-drawn logo… Omeeeegaaaaa The Unknooooown! For the dozens in attendance, and for the couple dozen reading this at home…

Let’s Get Ready To REEEEECAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP!

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Or - “Han Solo With Superhuman Strength…”

In his brilliant series “I Should Write The Legion,” Christopher Bird pointed out the inherent awesomeness of today’s entrant, the local Rimborian boy who made good.  He’s a rogue who went straight, the Legion’s most street-smart member, and although he may not be a Rhodes Scholar, he’s still a clever kid who knows what really makes the world go round.  As tough as Mon-El, as strong as Tom Welling, as fast as Dawnstar, he also has a very specific weakness (if you can call having Kryptonian level powers a weakness) in that he has to use them one at a time.  This makes him sneakier and much more conservative than most of the Legion’s combat members, and has also served to give him more humanity than Mon or Mr. Welling could ever imagine, as he’s only immune to harm SOMETIMES.  Possessor of one of the greatest “should-be-ugly-but-still-somehow-works” costumes in superhero history, two-time Legion leader, and the member who spends the most time in some sort of legal trouble, he’s also one of the most loyal Legionnaires, offering his “hit-first-cause-there’ll-be-trouble-later” brand of justice throughout every incarnation of the Legion thus far.  This, then, is your Major Spoiler Hero History of Jo Nah of Rimbor…  Ultra Boy!

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Or - “You Thought TYROC Was Obscure?”

In the 1950’s when the Legion was formed, the future was all about rocketships, frapguns and aliens with big heads.  Throughout the 60’s, there were occasional flirtations with mystical things, and the 70’s brought Mordru the Merciless, giant floating wizard with one of the silliest hats I’ve ever seen.  Even when the White Witch joined in the 80’s, her magic was much more quantified and limited, itself more resembling science than the sorcerous like of Doctors Strange or Fate.  But during the 90’s Reboot period (known pejoritively as the “Archie Legion”) there was an ongoing attempt to streamline the continuity of the Legion, as well as tying them more directly into the world of the 20th Century DCU.  Thus was born my pal Bruce’s favorite Legionnaire, from the far-flung future of the 90th century, a time when the Earth is destroyed and only the Rock of Eternity remains.  Steeping in magic, drawing upon the powers of Earth’s Mightiest Mortal, her courage is easily a match for her strength.  Though her Legion tenure was short, she was one of the highlights of the reboot era.  This, then, is your Major Spoilers Hero History of Cecebeck of Binderaan…  Thunder!

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Or�- “The Real World’s Greatest Detective Ain’t Some Spoiled Rich Kid From Gotham…”

Today’s entrant marks a real watershed in the history of the Legion of Super-Heroes.  Before Tellus, before Blok, even before the pseudo-alien blue skin of Shadow Lass, came today’s subject.� The first really alien alien on the Legion roster, (even though Brainiac 5 preceded him, Querl is really just a blonde white kid colored oddly) he comes from a mystical, secretive, and widely-reviled race of shape-shifters.  In a universe that fears and loathes his people, he acts as an ambassador, proving that perceptions, predispositions, and prejudices aren’t always true.  But then, when he’s around, most things aren’t exactly what they seem.  His keen eyes (and scanning antennae) never miss a trick, and his mind is as sharp as the tips of his ears.  One part Spock, one part Phillip Marlowe, with a healthy dose of Robin Goodfellow, he’s one of the stalwarts of all incarnations of the Legion to date, and one of the most recognizable characters in their 50 year history.  This, then, is your Major Spoilers Hero History of Reep Daggle of Durla…  Chameleon Boy!

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Or - “Proof That Where Goeth The Legion, There Goeth The DCU.”

Over the last few years, the family of Jerry Siegel, co-creator of Superman, have come forward with a fascinating claim, with which faithful Spoilerites are probably quite familiar.  The gist of it all is that when Jerry and Joe Shuster sold Superman to National Periodical Publications, (now known as DC Comics) they were royally hosed, a fact that seems pretty obvious since DC had made millions upon millions of dollars after only a few years of the character’s stories, while Jerry & Joe were paid a pittance for the rights.  Add to that a claim that Jerry pitched a series chronicling the adventures of Superman when he was a boy while NOT under contract to DC, had the proposal turned down, went to war, then returned to find DC using his idea, and mamushkah!  You gotcherself a lawsuit.  What this boils down to is a question over whether DC can legally use the name and character of Superboy Tom Welling, making DC ignore him for the most part.  Of course, old-school Legion fans have ‘been there, done that,’ seeing as how WE got to see a world without a Tom over a decade ago.  At that time, Keith Giffen and company had just relaunched the LSH title in a new volume, with a darker and more adult approach, an approach that the Superman offices apparently didn’t care for.  Keith was told that Mr. Welling (then known as John Hames Newton) could no longer appear in the stories, in any aspect, a difficult prospect for a team that was so inextricably tied to him from their very first appearance.  The answer was as simple as it was interesting: they reset the continuity, and changed the very nature of the Legion in so doing.  But as with the Crisis on Infinite Earths a few years earlier, the universe created a replacement, and so was born the legend of Impulse.  It’s a very Silver Age tale of a young medical student from New Rochelle, his strange accident and his rise to greatness…  This is your Major Spoilers Hero History of the Legionnaire once called Impulse of Earth… Kent Shakespeare!

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Or - “Turn And Face The Strange Ch-Ch-Changes…”

One of the pitfalls of a team the size of the Legion is that certain characters tend to fall between the cracks.  Sure, we know all about guys like Mon-El, Saturn Girl, Cosmic Boy, and even Andromeda, but the backstories of others (say, Star Boy, Sun Boy, and today’s entrant) have taken literal decades to play out.  One of the most ethereal of Legionnaires, today’s subject is also one of the longest tenured, even serving three tours as Legion leader and several more as deputy.  His costume colors and varying (but always exquisite) hairstyle fueled conjecture as to his sexual orientation, even in the “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” 60’s, and years later, the answers to those questions were as difficult to quantify as the hero himself.  Confident enough to wear hot pink, yet manly enough to put the smackdown on space pirates, he’s a study in contrasts as much as heroism.  This, then, is your Major Spoilers Hero History of Jan Arrah of Trom…  Element Lad!

�

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Or - “In Honor Of Labor Day, I Give You The Original Working-Class Family Team.”

First off, I’d like to apologize to everyone who expected to see the Element Lad Hero History today… It’s still on tap, but I was so wiped after my first REAL week at my new job that I only got up to about 1994 in Jan’s timeline before I felt the call of swimming, S’mores, and Mario Soccer. Mea culpa. I hope to have Jan’s life story up either Tuesday or Wednesday, lord willin’ and the creek don’t rise, but in penance for my general lackadaisical attitude, I have a little surprise for ya’s. There are a great many ‘group opinions’ when you work in a comic shop, (Gatekeeper Hobbies, Huntoon and Gage, Topeka! Ask us about our 9.2 copy of X-Men #137!) but one of the ones that bothers me most is the general perception that Mark Waid and Mike Wieringo’s run on FF was a bad one. People complain about Doom’s ‘girlfriend armor,’ the trips to the afterlife, as well as the issue where Galactus walks the earth and eats hot dogs with Ben Grimm. Contrary to these nattering nabobs of negativity, I loved the entire Waid/’Ringo run and I’d like to share with y’all the reason why…

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Or - “A Heart Of Iron, With A Face Even His Mother Didn’t Love.”

The kids of the Legion are a pretty diverse lot, spanning the galaxy as well as a spectrum of skin tones.  Some are made of energy, others made of stone, and at least one seemed to be made of nothing much at all.  And even though they’re heroic to a boy, kid, or lass, even the kids of the Legion have their own legends to live up to.  Case in point: a young man from Earth whose face was so horrible that even in the age of enlightenment, surrounded by aliens of all shapes, people couldn’t bring themselves to look at him.  Rather than take the path of many physically scarred types (notably The Viper, Doctor Doom, and Tony Montana) the extraordinary lad made the most of his shortcomings, joining the foremost heroic assemblage in the universe, and sacrificing himself to save the various worlds.  He is the man even the heroes of the Legion speak of in hushed tones, and rightfully so.  This, then, is your Major Spoilers Hero History of Andrew Nolan of Earth…  Ferro Lad!

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Or - “In The 30th Century, Big Man On Campus Takes On A New, Very Literal Meaning.”

The Legion of Super-Heroes has room for many different kinds of hero. Some, like Sun Boy, Wildfire, Tom Welling and Ultra Boy seek out the spotlight. Others, like Blok, The White Witch, Star Boy, Tellus and others prefer to work more in the background. But only one Legionnaire tends to BE the background, backstopping his teammates and literally crushing everything in his path. Gim Allon is a straight-shooter, the kind of guy who sees life as a choice between right and wrong. If you’re right, he’ll fight any and all who oppose you. If you’re wrong, well… I hope you’re not allergic to five-foot wide knuckles. Though sometimes overshadowed in terms of sheer power, (he does work with a bevy of Kryptonians and Kryptonian-analogues) even his most powerful Legion teammates admire his tenacity, single-mindedness and dedication. Though his talents for mass property damage are as prodigious as his height, Gim is also a responsible hero, using his strength and size to clean up after the battles as well. With a taste in costumes makes even Tyroc look stylish, he was nonetheless one of the most recognizable Legionnaires for over 4 decades. This is your Major Spoilers Hero History of Gim Allon of Earth… Colossal Boy!

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Or - “Living Proof That Some Questions DO NOT Need To Be Asked.  Ever…”

One of the side-effects of writing a series in the future is having to fake it.  Legion writers not only have to come up with a decent superhero plot; not only have to utilize 16 to 25 superheroes with varying levels of power; not only have to explain why Mon-El and Tom Welling don’t tear off the villains arms, cauterize the wounds with heat vision, and beat them insensate with their stumps; they have to create an entire culture out of whole cloth.  Future fashion, architecture, technology, even hairstyles must be guessed at, and 0ver the 50 years of Legion the creators have done a pretty good job showing us a utopian future, and barring the occasional Phantom Girl bell-bottom pants, Dawnstar hippie headband or early 80’s Sun Boy Tom Selleck hair, they’ve done a credible job of it.  Unfortunately, the prevailing wisdom (and I use the term loosely) of the 50’s and 60’s comic books made the appearance of black skin a no-no.  When the time finally came to unveil the Legion’s first black member, somebody in DC’s offices felt the need to explain why we had never seen someone of that skin-tone in the (presumably) color-blind utopian future.  Their response, while probably good-intentioned, was arguably more racist than the policies that kept dark skins out of the stories in the first place.  My intent with our Hero Histories has always been to explain what makes each of the Legionnaires heroes, to dissect what makes them tick and give you a glimpse into what makes them awesome.  Though I chose today’s entry because of his shorter tenure, I accidentally gave myself the biggest challenge of my Hero History career…  But, fortune favors the bold (and also the ridiculously stupid) so it’s time to touch upon one of the Legion’s lesser-known members.  This, then, is your Major Spoilers Hero History of Troy Stewart of Marzal Island…  Tyroc!

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