Or - “Repercussions And Resolutions.”

Walker.  Deena.  Excrement.  Rotating blades. 

This shan’t be pretty.

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Or - “Comics Move Pretty Fast. If Ya Don’t Slow Down Once In A While, You Could Miss ‘Em.“

So, how YOU doin?  When I joined the intrepid staff here at Stately Spoilers Manor, I was a carefree young lad, temping at a dog food company and literally finding myself with hours at work to stare into space.  Ahh, those were the heady days of cafeteria food and three-a-day reviews.  Now that I have a *real* job, my first in several years, I’m horrified to find that I have to spend 8 or 9 hours per day ACTUALLY WORKING.  Uncool, to say the least.  But, the faithful Spoilerites continue to call their siren call, and the review pile continues to expand like the waistline of an Atlantic City call girl (those all-you-can-eat buffets can really add up.)  Thus, I bring you another episode of…  RAPID FIRE REVIEWS!

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Or - “Major Spoilers, Major Time Crunch!  I Blame Stephen!”

There’s a couple of reasons why I do what I do here at Major Spoilers…  The first is, I love comics, and I know you do, too.  (See what I did there?)  I want you to look at Wednesdays the same way I do, with a combination of joy, expectation, and “What in the world will they do next?”  Basically, I want to share the love.

Also, and possibly more importantly, I’m an attention whore.  Problem is, I actually have two jobs other than this one, both of which tend to suck a lot of time out of my day.  I’ve fallen waaaaaay behind in my daily reviews (or, honestly, my thrice-a-week reviews, lately) and in order to keep from reviewing things that came out three or four weeks ago, I’ve decided to give you some extra bang for your buck, with a smorgasbord of reviews that I’ve fallen behind on.  It’s something like Friday nights when I was a kid, where you’d have whatever was in the fridge for supper, because nobody’s going to waste their time cooking for ya.  Heck, if it works out, we may do this on a semi-regular basis to remind you of the comics that I probably couldn’t honestly see devoting a whole review to.  And now, ON WE GO!

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Or - “#&$*! #&$*! #&$*! #&$*! #&$*! #&$*!”

Hey, what’s an issue of Powers without obligatory cursing, hmm? In any case, my years as a comic geek have lead me to create a few simple rules that define my comic purchasing habits, and make Wednesdays easier to navigate: Mark Waid - Good. Rob Liefeld - Not Good. Buy anything with Stingray. Avoid anything with Bane. Don’t trust Marvel’s covers, the interior art is almost always different (and many times inferior.) Likewise, no matter who appears on the cover, Countdown tie-ins will probably disappoint. And above all, Bendis writing can be a total crapshoot, but Bendis writing his OWN characters is #&$*ing awesome…

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Or - “Superheroing 101 - The Basics Of Masked Adventuring.”

Sometimes, you review a book out of love.  Sometimes you review a book out of loyalty.  Sometimes, you review a book because it’s the be-all, end-all crossover that will change everything.

This one  threatened to smack me with a pipe wrench if I didn’t…

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