Or - “Hell, Man… I Only Have So Much Free Time!”

There seems to be a thing out there called “Real Life.”  It’s composed mostly of things to annoy you and drain your wallet of cash, but sometimes it also feeds on your free time.  One of the joys of this gig is getting to share the wondrous things that happen in comics and split the burdens of that which is terrible, which means I usually bite off more than I can chew in terms of comics that I’d like to review.  Since this has happened yet again, it’s time to play catch-up (because mustard stains the carpet.)

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Or - “How Amanda Got Her Hardcase Groove Back…”

One of our faithful Spoilerites made the assertion last month that Amanda Waller has been painted as pure villain since this series began, that her actions have kept her on the “bad” side of the equation from the get-go. While I can certainly see and concede part of that point, I think it’s important to keep in mind that Sasha Bordeaux tends to be the point of view character of this ensemble, and that Amanda’s actions are being filtered (somewhat) through that prism. The Wall is nothing if not uncompromising, and Amanda wants to protect herself, and by extension America’s, interests. Rather than being a villain, to my mind Amanda represents a particular political mindset: the isolationist.

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Or - “How Some People Continue To Get Promoted, I’ll Never Know.”

Amanda Waller… A study in contrasts. She’s currently in a position of great power and influence with Checkmate, while simultaneously having been sent to prison a few years ago for manipulating her authority. Certainly, she’s one of DC’s most fascinating characters, and possesses great depth and moral ambiguity that’s interesting, but I wonder who thought it was a good idea to install her as White Queen… Probably Lex Luthor or something. Either way, her manipulations have become more desperate over the last few issues, and the existence of her secret Suicide Squad has come to light to the royals on both sides of the board. The Fall of The Wall begins here…

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Or - “It’s Interesting To See Ol’ Moosie Again…”

Some years ago, when Mark Gruenwald was writing Quasar for Marvel, you could count on that series to clean up Marvel’s loose ends, either writing in endings for characters who disappeared, or in some cases explaining why one-shot villains were never seen again. Sometimes this led to interesting storylines (like the revelation of who was in the Stranger’s alien lab) other times it led to things like the ‘Living Armor From The Secret Wars’ issue, wherein it was extrapolated that since Spider-Man’s costume turned out to be an alien symbiote, then the armor pieces that Jim Rhodes brought back had to be alive, too. Checkmate is starting to remind a bit of that Quasar series (in the good way) answering questions about DC ephemera while still telling a coherent and interesting story.

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Or - “After Several Issues Of Torture, It’s Time For A Little TLC…”

That, by the way, is LITERAL, physical torture of one of the main characters, not the colloquial sense of “torture to read the issues.” After the breakneck pace of the Check/Out crossover, it’s time for a little housekeeping. The Black Queen has been through hell, Mr. Terrific is embroiled in a game of political chess, and Fire is still hurting from having her past actions made public. They’re all spotlighted in an issue that lacks combat, but ties up a few loose ends (including some from another book entirely.) In so doing, they’re also going to finally give us the lowdown on how a certain relationship got it’s start in during that pesky “One Year Later” jump… Even though nobody gets punched, there’s still a lot going on here.

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Or - “A New Direction Is In The Wings, With Some Loose Ends To Clear Up First…”

The anatomy of the crossover is always fascinating to observe, and the clash of Checkmate and the Outsiders has been very interesting, serving to put the spotlight on both teams, including the first real understanding of what Sasha Bordeaux’s OMAC implants are really capable of. But it’s been a brutal ride for all involved, and if you’ve been reading Previews, you know that the Outsiders’ future will involve some changes in personnel, leadership and strategy… The questions that this issue must answer, then, are the basic issues that any good reporter would have to answer: how, when, and, most importantly, why?

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Or - “Who’d Have Imagined EGG FU Would EVER Be Intimidating?”

The 21st century truly is a place of wonders. The man from Oolong Island, most remembered pre-Crisis for an incredibly offensive accent and lines like “Stupid Amelicans! They might as werr pless a tligger to their own blains!” is not only intimidating, but this issue shows him to be a truly frightening creature, his curiosity unhindered by minor concerns such as compassion or fear of punishment. Chang Tzu proves that no idea is too ridiculous to fix, something we should probably all keep in mind when we (myself included) mock the monthly solicitations wondering why anyone would ever bring back, say, MODOK. In the hands of a talented writer or writers, even Mind-Grabber Kid might have some life left in him…

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Or - “It’s Like 24, Only Slightly Less Unbelievable…”

The Check/Out crossover has been interesting on a number of levels, but most of all, it’s been interesting to see the character interactions. Rucka and Winick seem to be co-writing each issue, with each of the various character voices staying true to previous depictions, even with a rollercoaster plot full of twists and turns. I was entertained by the interaction between Boomerang, Junior and Mlle. Marie, between Nightwing and The Black Queen, but nothing in the story so far has surprised me more than this issue’s final page…

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Or - “Finally, A Break From Iron Man Bashing. I’m EXHAUSTED…”

Usually, I try to space these out with a little more give-and-take, but last weeks comic book haul was rather Marvel-heavy, and for some odd reason, I haven’t been in an “Outsiders and Checkmate on a covert mission” writing mood. Now that I’ve reread it, I remember that this has been a pretty impressive crossover between two of DC’s better-written middle-of-the-road-selling books, but I fear that they’re “preaching to the choir,” that the people who read one book already read the other. The days of complete Marvel Zombies may be mostly over, but there’s a weird low buzz of DC resentment among the casual comics readership (at least the ones that I read on the internet and sell comics to) including people who mock DC’s naming conventions, lament the fact that not all of their characters have bad@$$ names and leather costumes, or think they’re “unrealistic.” My rant about realism in comics takes too long to go into here, so instead, I’m going to address this to those of you among the loyal Spoilerites and casual viewers: HERE is a DC book (technically TWO) that you might want to check out.

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Or - “You Gotta Love Grace…”

There’s two important safety tips to the reading of Major Spoilers recaps of Outsiders. One: I am a fan of Judd Winick, his dialogue and plotting, so while many other reviewers may raise hue and cry about the earmarks of Judd’s writing, you won’t get that here. Secondly, I have a huge imaginary crush on Grace Choi. I don’t know why, and I’m not going to try and defend it, but a six-foot tattooed half-Asian woman with super-strength appeals to me. As Grant Morrison (or someone quite like him) said in this week’s ‘Tales of The Unexpected’: “We’re geeks. That’s how we roll.” He said it with a thick Scottish accent, though, so it was incomprehensible. Meanwhile, back at the crossover…

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Or - “Two Excellent Books Are Crossing Over… And You’re Reading SPAWN, Aren’t You?”

I know, I know, I shouldn’t be mean about Spawn… Every single title out there is somebody’s fave-rave, and just ’cause I don’t get it (and maybe resent Todd McFarlane’s general public persona and history of questionable litigatory decisions) doesn’t mean that it isn’t awesome in… some… way. Maybe… Anyway, back in the realm of statements that keep my foot out of mouth, we’re about to embark on an interesting case study in the DCU. Outsiders, a relatively underrated book with a ton of neat characters and action is crossing over with Checkmate, about which Sam Wheat would just say “Ditto.” How exactly does an underground superteam of highly questionable legality interact with the government’s official CIA-type group designed to reign in the antics of metahumans?

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Or - “There Are Eight Million Stories In The Checkmate City…”

I actually remember the FIRST time I read a number 12 issue of Checkmate (and I refuse to believe it’s been nearly 20 years, either), an Invasion Aftermath extra written by Paul Kupperberg, with art by Steve Erwin (not the late Crocodile Hunter, mind you) and Al Vey. I liked that series, with it’s attempt to meld the soopahero and spy genres, although I didn’t read it until years after it’s cancellation. (I was completing my run of Suicide Squad at the time, and the crossover issues were compelling.) That said, the current series is leaps and bounds beyond that admittedly good work, taking the best bits of superhuman escapism and combining them with some of the nastier elements of the clandestine cloak-and-dagger-in-your-back stories Greg Rucka writes so well. Last ish, we left Beatriz DaCosta and Thomas Jagger in the hidden jungles of Santa Prisca, and we pick up this issue as both Knights are forced to deal with the sins of the fathers…

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Or - “I Thought They Only Had Fiery Latinas On Wacky Sitcoms…”

I don’t usually mentally stunt-cast actors in the roles of comic book characters, (and I whine when Mike Deodato does it for Norman Osborn) but whenever I see Fire (aka Green Fury, Green Flame, and Beatriz Da Costa), my mind puts actress Judy Reyes from Scrubs in the scene. This has absolutely nothing to do with this issue, mind you, I just wanted to share. In any case, since Checkmate, Volume II began, White Queen Amanda Waller has seemed to have some sort of hold (blackmail? loyalty?) over Fire, who acts as Black King’s knight. This issue seems to be the beginning of explaining that hold, and gives us a rare look at Fire’s life before super-powers. Que nós estamos esperando?

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Or - “The Chimp’s Got It Figured Out…”

It’s actually quite heartening to see Checkmate hitting double-digits. It’s not precisely the kind of book you normally get from DC, an attempt at a hard-hitting spy-style drama, with the added difficulty of being set within the confines of a world where every thirteenth person gets phenomenal cosmic power with the purchase of a Big Gulp at 7-11. This issue actually takes that proverbial bull by the horns, trying to streamline the Shadowpact (a team consisting of a talking chimpanzee, a interdimensional teleporter, a cloth Golem, an azure demon, a sorceress of great power, and Jim Morrison with a vorpal blade) with the more down-to-earth spycraft and internecine power struggle of government spook agencies… Add a dash of pepper, bake at 450 degrees for six hours, and whaddaya got?

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Or - “Too Much Of A Good Thing?”

Sarge Steel. Detective Chimp. Mister Terrific. Fire. Mademoiselle Marie. Plus two pages of strippers, and huge movie-blockbuster-style firefight and a surprising addition to the regular cast. This book is packed with geekout moments, intrigue, even a way cool cover that pops off the racks and tells you to shaddup and buy it. With all that going for it, there’s really no reason why I haven’t been able to sit down, concentrate, and review this book. So why haven’t I done it before now?

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