Or - “Hell, Man… I Only Have So Much Free Time!”

There seems to be a thing out there called “Real Life.”  It’s composed mostly of things to annoy you and drain your wallet of cash, but sometimes it also feeds on your free time.  One of the joys of this gig is getting to share the wondrous things that happen in comics and split the burdens of that which is terrible, which means I usually bite off more than I can chew in terms of comics that I’d like to review.  Since this has happened yet again, it’s time to play catch-up (because mustard stains the carpet.)

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Or, “From Giant Transforming Mafia Princess To Magic Hockey Stigmatism Geeks…”

Is it just me, or does Manhunter look remarkably like she’s telling that mysterious figure to knock off the bad Tor Johnson impersonation?  “Would you please just get me my Pina Colada with an umbrella in it, please?  Ed Wood is dead and I don’t feel so great myself, dangit!”  Still, this issue heralds the return of Kate Spencer, Manhunter, to the ranks of the Birds of Prey, while another operative makes her graduation to the big leagues and Oracle has to evaluate her strategies…  What are you waiting for?  Click the link, wouldjas?

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Or - “A Chick Fight?  On The COVER?  Gail Simone, Wherefore Art Thou?”

Lately in the DCU, I’ve seen a trend that I don’t really like.  Gail Simone left Birds of Prey in order to handle a higher profile book, Wonder Woman.  (In her defense, it’s apparently one of her dream gigs…)  Now, Sean McKeever has revealed that he’ll be leaving the title as well, to better concentrate on Teen Titans and higher profile gigs.  There’s no announcement as to who will take over the book when he leaves with #117, but I have to say that I’m disappointed with the seemingly cavalier way BoP is being treated, especially since it used to be among the best books that DC put out on a monthly basis…

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Sean McKeever announced on his website Sunday that he was leaving DC’s Birds of Prey with issue #117, due out in April.

I was offered both Teen Titans and Birds of Prey at the same time. It became clear that I was going to be a bit behind on Teen Titans from the outset, and I unfortunately took longer to get up to speed than I would have liked. Because of this, I kept putting off Birds of Prey, where my debut was set for the end of the year. The thing is, I generally pride myself by being timely with my work, so the lateness on Teen Titans was stressing me out. The stress bred more lateness, which in turn bred more stress…and by late fall I was behind schedule on both series.

Due to these circumstances, I’ve had to leave Birds of Prey. My last issue will be April’s #117. I miss the characters already, especially considering the long-term plans I had for the title, but I’m pretty proud of the five issues I did write.

Birds of Prey #117
Written by Sean McKeever
Art by Nicola Scott & Doug Hazelwood
Cover by Stephane Roux
Misfit and Manhunter are captured by the man responsible for the bizarre magical technology that has been threatening the Birds and all of Metropolis…leading Oracle to decide to relocate the team to try to take this new nemesis down for good.

Word on the street is Tony Bedard will be returning to the series as writer for issue #118 (cover after the jump.

via Sean McKeever

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Or - “A.V. Skills That Even Neil Goldman Would Envy…”

Barbara Gordon. Sooooper-geeeenius. Multiple degrees in everything, photographic memory, smart enough to give even the mighty Batman a run for his money. Used to dress up as a bat (albeit a super sexy spandexy go-go-boot-wearing bat) in an attempt to fight crime. Noah Cuttler. Evil sooooper-geeeenius. No degrees that we know of, a wicked case of obsessive-compulsive disorder, with a criminal mind sharp enough to vex nearly the entire Justice League. Used to wear a calculator on his chest (and make boxing gloves out of dust particles to punch people) in an attempt to prove that no crime-fighter could stop him. Two sides. One coin. Their usual M.O. is to combat one another remotely via servers and firewalls, but they’re about to get up close and personal…

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Or - “Why The Huntress Is Not Black Canary In Five Easy Lessons.”

Howdy! I usually don’t go off on personal tangents in these recaps (because, really, why the #$&* would you care?) but much like the butcher who backed into the meat grinder, I’ve gotten a little behind in my work. Mea culpa… This issue came out LAST week, but I was busy runnin’ an’ runnin’ an’ runnin’ like a constipated weiner dog, I missed it in the pull list. But, nil desperandum, dear friends, I’m not going to let something like being an idiot deter me from my appointed rounds. After several superlative years of Gail Simone’s Birds of Prey, various powers have removed Gail and Black Canary from the book, to be replaced by Tony Bedard and The Huntress. One is a borderline Batman character, the other is DC’s new workhorse, and this issue is one of those “jumping-on points” you always hear about in Previews… (more…)

Or - “This Kind Of Awkward Conversation Actually Precedes MOST Marriages…”

I remember right before my wedding, when my pal Bruce (of Otter Disaster infamy) took my aside, and shared with me words of wisdom that I will never forget. It was March 31st, and he looked me in the eye and said, “If at any point tomorrow you say the words ‘April Fools…’ I will KNOCK YOU OUT.” Serves me right for getting married on April 1st, I suppose. Still, I don’t have any problem getting restaurant reservations on my anniversary every year, so who gets the last laugh now, ey? Hah? Anyway, now that Tony Bedard is writing the ENTIRE DC UNIVERSE, he’s tying up a few threads, and since Birds of Prey has ties to the Batman family, to Apokalips, and to the upcoming nuptuals of the Chairperson of the JLA, there’s a few bits of business that need dealing with.

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Or - “Sometimes You Use Your Brain… Other Times, A Called Shot To The Spleen.”

There are a few characters in the DC Universe that everyone agrees you shouldn’t anger. Starfire. Batman. The Martian Manhunter. But, in my opinion, the most impressive displays of wrath have come from those whose tempers are less feared, but no less formidable. Recall the moment where Superman awoke and said that single word to Mongul: “Burn.” Or the moment where Buddy Baker found the man who killed his family. I can now add to those fearsome displays the moment where Babs Gordon shook off the influence of Spy Smasher’s intimidation tactics and decided to fight for her friends…

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Or - “There Are Some Resurrections That You Just Don’t Complain About…”

Normally, I tend to rant about bringing characters back from the dead. It’s a convention that generally doesn’t work, and I think it’s no coincidence that the two forms of entertainment most guilty of using it (Comic Books and Soap Operas) have stigmas attached to their fanbase. But, frankly, Ice’s death was a cheap 90’s sales ploy carrying just about as much emotional weight as a chromium-embossed Bloodshot cover, and as hypocritical as it might make me seem, I’m gonna chalk up her return in the win column. Of course, she’s currently crazy, and ready to kill both Birds of Prey and Secret Six, so I supposed we have to call it a mixed blessing.
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Or - “Things Continue To Fall To Pieces… Thanks, Spy Smasher!”

With the rather unhappy news that Gail Simone is leaving ‘Birds of Prey,’ the title she pretty much made excellent again, I was a little bit saddened to see this issue in my hold bin. In my mind, it meant one less issue of awesome Gail writing… Turns out my mourning was very much premature, as BoP gave us a nice couple of twists on the traditional comic book fight scene, some character development for several of our twelve or thirteen main characters, and made me almost like the new Spy Smasher. (Turns out she’s still a schmuck, though.) Add to that some of the best matchups in comic book slapfight history, and it was enough to find my smile again…

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Or - “Russian History, Resurrection, The Secret Six And An Immortal Fistfight.”

It’s an interesting time to be a DC character. Sure, you’ve got tons of new storylines, a whole new world opened up, an old multiverse lurking ’round the corner, origins retold, World War III, Darkseid’s in the wings, and a host of all-new sandboxes to play in. Why, they’ve even undone the greatest injustice of Mark Waid’s run on “Justice League America” by revealing that Ice survived her seeming disintegration (if that woman WAS Ice to begin with.) It’s a bright, shiny new DCU, full of infinite possibilities. Of course, that doesn’t stop the BoP’s latest mission from going horribly off the rails and $#*#ing everything up…

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Or - “If They’re Really A Secret Six, Why Are They So High-Profile?”

That look on Lady Blackhawk’s face, my friends, is known to scientists and students of non-verbal communication as the “Skunkeye” ( also called “Stinkeye”), and it is used to imply that the subject of your scrutiny is so suspicious as to actually reek of illegitimacy. It’s commonly seen in singles bars, at all-you-can-eat buffets, and on the face of David Letterman. “But, Matthew,” you’re asking, “why is Babs Gordon’s dark doppelganger, her nemesis from college, the wicked and abusive power-mongering manipulator Spy Smasher sitting alongside Zinda, Babs’ trusted pilot/cowgirl/girl Friday? This can’t be right!” Indeed, my young friends, it is NOT right, but it’s interesting and entertaining, and sometimes that’s almost as good. You can sit here, in the waiting room (or wait there in the sitting room), but get comfy, ’cause Uncle Matthew’s gonna tell a yarn Ah done heard from a lady name’a Gail, in th’ back of an opium den off the arcade in Shanghai… and this ‘uns a corker!

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Or - “Things Are Just About To Get (More) Interesting…”

I’ll say it again: I don’t see why Birds of Prey isn’t DC’s best-selling title. There’s something for everyone here. The main characters have years of history, tying into JLA, into Batman, into the New Gods, even to the old Charlton comics. (Speaking of which, if Renee Montoya does what it looks like she’s gonna do, I’d love to see HER in BoP, wouldn’t you?) If you’re a continuity buff, it’s in there for you. The plots are always involving, the action fast and interesting, with aspects of Action/Adventure, Cloak & Dagger stories, soopah-hero punchouts, even a healthy dose of Jack Bauer-esque run and gun. Add that to some incredibly sweet art (is that not the cutest, sleekest Batgirl you’ve ever seen?), strong characterization, and a healthy disrespect for the status quo. Why am I just talking bout it? Let’s go over this issue, and you can see the awesome for yourself.

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Or - “Time, Time, Time… See What’s Become Of Me…”

Okay, somewhere along the line I lost track of how many hours there were in a day. I felt certain that there were 24, but somehow no matter how many things I get done, five or six more end up falling by the wayside. Usually those involve bills, or buying pull-ups for little Molly, but somehow, I completely forgot to review Birds of Prey #101. I blame Dan Didio, actually.

It seems like this book comes out more often than other comics (which these days probably means monthly) so we’re going to double up and get back to speed, twice the review at half the price! (Well, half of nothin’ is still nothin.’) You’re welcome! Last time, we left the BoP in two different precarious situations, one fighting an enemy on the cerebral level, with four engaging in a more conventional slobberknocker with corrupt prison authorities, and (accidentally) the United States Air Force. Is Zinda good enough to combat fighter planes in a helicopter?

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Or - “How Much Does A Life-Sized Painting Of A Woman COST?”

Generally speaking, real people don’t ever worry about something as nebulous as “diversity.” As I travel through the universe, trying to get to the bank on time, working a 55 hour week, balance parenting with acting like a child, and occasionally let loose my million monkeys to type these here reviews, I seldom worry about whether, statistically speaking, women are sufficiently represented in the boardroom. DC has recently made great strides in populating their titles with more than just squared-jawed, dark-haired men in their early thirties, but I can’t help but point out that this tidal wave was preceded by Birds of Prey mainstays Dinah and Barbara over a decade ago. I can’t think of any other books circa 1996 that have reached the 100 mark… Anybody got one that I missed?

Oh, and, by the way, what’s actually happening IN THE BOOK?

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