Archive for the ‘Avengers’ Category
Or – “At What Point Did Cyclops Become Bad-A$$?”
So, there’s a war brewing in San Francisco, with the mutants on one side, and a cadre of “reformed” villains led by Norman Osborn on the other side, as well as a rogue faction in the form of Emma Frost’s Dark X-Men. Norman Osborn is counting on his position with the government to give him the edge he needs to put down Scott Summers and his people as easily as he put down Tony Stark and the Avengers. Of course, Tony Stark didn’t spend his entire teen and adult life as an outcast and an outlaw, and Tony Stark has seldom been the one with his back to the wall. (Tony Stark also doesn’t have big red eye-lasers comin’ outta his face, but, anyway… Bygones.)
Or – “We Hold These Comics To Be Self-Evident…”
Today is American Independence Day, commonly referred to as July 4th, as it takes place on the 4th of July, hence the name, and that’s why the song is called Alice’s Restaurant… To all the faithful Spoilerites of the United States, Happy 4th of July. For those of you who are from elsewhere, sorry about all the hegemony and stuff. Either way, it’s time for another bout of our Rapid Fire Reviews, bite-sized chunks of comics that I either couldn’t write three paragraphs about, or ran out of time to cover. Give us your tired, your poorly drawn, your huddled masses of comics, yearning to be bagged in mylar…
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It’s Wednesday, which means another roundup of rumors out of Tinsel Town. This week it’s all about Transformers, Iron Man, and Megan Fox. She’s a new Hollywood category now, right?
Or – “Off To Meet My Doom, Mom! See You After School!”
Comic book publishing schedules puzzle me. The Twelve hasn’t come out in what seems like a year, while Agents of Atlas is apparently on a bi-weekly status, and Spider-Man is coming out every sixteen minutes or so. Wolverine alone accounts for half the forests destroyed in the United States every month. The major publishers can’t seem to decide whether it’s a market for the celebrity auteur writer, or whether it’s the characters who sell the books regardless of creator. When Wolverine #73 came out a few weeks ago (before the publication of #72) it occurred to me that the entire industry is run by the pointy-haired boss from Dilbert, and that I should really just relax.
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I just don’t get Lockjaw and the Pet Avengers, nor do I understand the people that are wetting themselves over this title. Are these the same people that thought Marvel Apes was a good idea? In any case, Lockjaw and the Pet Avengers assembled themselves for a debut sellout, according to Marvel. This has prompted the company to go back to press with a variant cover by Ig Guara.
The reprint arrives Juen 17, 2009.
Or – “Freakin’ In The Purple Rain With A Flying Hippo!”
Hey, kids! What time is it?
Time to get a new watch!
Return with us now to those glorious days of yesteryear, when comics came out every Wednesday, there was a new car in every a garage, a chicken in every pot, and a pot calling the kettle collect! When the review pile gets high enough to fall over, it’s time for Rapid-Fire REVIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWW OOOOooooOOOOOO!
7 Comments »Or – “I Coulda Sworn I’ve Reviewed Avengers Twice This Week Already?”
– MAJOR SPOILERS EXCLUSIVE: THE MISSING DIALOGUE FROM THIS WEEK’S COVER –
Hulk: “Raaar!
Vision: “0101110111010.
Hulk: “Raaar!”
Vision: ”011011100110111100.”
Hulk: “RAAARRR!!!!”
Vision: “Yo mamasan!”
Hulk: “My mamasan?”
Vision: “Sho’ nuff.”
Hulk: *SMASHES ENTIRE BUILDING*
Vision: “Well, I can dig where you’re coming from…” *Grabs the suitcase and heads upstairs*
Or – “The Triumphant Return Of Avengers Double-Feature!”
With so much drama in the L.B.C. Marvel Universe to date, something that seems to have fallen by the wayside is the revelation that Doctor Strange is no longer considered fit to be Sorceror Supreme. This opens up all sorts of storytelling possibilities, just like it did in 1989 when alien mage Urthona took over the position of S.S. from Doc, but in this case it seems that the replacement is going to be somewhat more local…
Or – “Cut Me Some Slack, I Been Working For A Promotion…”
My day gig is a study in many things… Management theories. Inappropriate dress. The mating habits of the Bisexuals Of The Plains. But one thing that it is not, and has never been, is uncomplicated. Thus, I have come to you, our Faithful Spoilerites, with another batch of mini-reviews, just like a Chili’s mini-burger entree only less likely to make your @$$ look like a truck. (Also, be aware that I just barely decided not to do this one in limerick form, in honor o’ th’ wearin’ o’ the green…)
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The Norse god isn’t going to be too happy with the news that Marvel has bumped the release dates for the Thor and Avengers movies back by almost an entire year. Thor, which was scheduled to be released in June, 2010, now has a July, 2011 release date, while the Avengers are getting moved to May of 2012 — which is just about the time that final issue of Ultimate Wolverine vs. Hulk hits the shelves.
Execs did not offer a reason for the deferrals; Marvel Studios chairman David Maisel said only that the move “maximizes the visibility of our single character-focused films, leading to the highly anticipated release of the multicharacter ‘The Avengers’ film in 2012.”
In other words, the company is choosing wisely to release one or two films a year instead of bunching everything up to maximize its return on investment. In this current economy, at a time when a film like Watchmen didn’t open as high as expected, hedging its bets and shifting release dates seems appropriate. A yearly release will keep fans happy, and ensures we have something to look forward to for the next three years.
(above image by Ben Towle)
Or – “This Ought To Be Interesting…”
The post-Secret Invasion landscape of the Marvel Universe has set Norman Osborn and the New Avengers on a collision course. Having stolen their names, their costume, their credibility, and their very identities, naturally the team wants a little bit of payback. Having saved baby Danielle Cage from capture, Captain America and his new team now have to contend with the realization that, this time, the odds aren’t in their favor…
Doctor Strange has to fight to get regain the title of Sorcerer Supreme, and the Avengers are going to help him take it back from the Dark Avengers. Sounds like we’re headed to a smack down of magical proportions, and Marvel has sent us a sneak peek of the upcoming New Avengers #51.
Or “Sweet Christmas.”
He was born Carl Lucas in the streets of New York’s roughest neighborhood. Bad decisions and bad friends led him to Seagate Prison, where a freak chemical accident changed his fortunes forever. Returning to New York with a new name, steel-hard skin, and a desire to keep others from treading his path to near-destruction, Luke Cage became Power Man, fighting the good fight in his own inimitable way, and proving that sometimes street-smarts can take you as far as raw Tony Stark intellect. Last issue, the unthinkable happened, as the loss of his beloved baby caused Luke to go to Norman Osborn, giving up everything to save his child… Can a simple offer that can’t be refused be the nail that ends the heroic career of the former Power Man?
Or – “Avengers, Continue To Assemble!”
In the decades since the Avengers first formed to take on the threat of Loki, there have been some really unusual lineups. With another giant crossover event behind us, it’s time for new membership, and this issue’s cover promises the return of not only a woman who killed three of her teammates, and wiped out the mutant population of Marvel Earth, but a robot infused with the brain patterns of a dead woman, and a man with multiple personality disorder who has recently named himself after his deceased spouse. I wonder if Marvel can copyright “Mighty Odd Avengers?”
Or – “The Answer To The Question We’ve All Been Asking…”
Since the return of the heroes duplicated by Skrulls, my particular corner of comics fandom has been asking the question: Could this be Marvel’s way of writing the spousal abuse out of the backstory of one of their founding Avengers? The answer comes this issue, along with some other surprises, and at least one moment of pure shock, and a wonderful moment for an old supporting character that pushes her towards top-tier status… Whattaya waiting for? Click and let’s get goin’!
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