Or – “In Honor Of Labor Day, I Give You The Original Working-Class Family Team.”

First off, I’d like to apologize to everyone who expected to see the Element Lad Hero History today… It’s still on tap, but I was so wiped after my first REAL week at my new job that I only got up to about 1994 in Jan’s timeline before I felt the call of swimming, S’mores, and Mario Soccer. Mea culpa. I hope to have Jan’s life story up either Tuesday or Wednesday, lord willin’ and the creek don’t rise, but in penance for my general lackadaisical attitude, I have a little surprise for ya’s. There are a great many ‘group opinions’ when you work in a comic shop, (Gatekeeper Hobbies, Huntoon and Gage, Topeka! Ask us about our 9.2 copy of X-Men #137!) but one of the ones that bothers me most is the general perception that Mark Waid and Mike Wieringo’s run on FF was a bad one. People complain about Doom’s ‘girlfriend armor,’ the trips to the afterlife, as well as the issue where Galactus walks the earth and eats hot dogs with Ben Grimm. Contrary to these nattering nabobs of negativity, I loved the entire Waid/’Ringo run and I’d like to share with y’all the reason why…

Previously, (relatively speaking) on Fantastic Four: Doctor Doom went further than he ever had before, attacking the first family where they lived, and even going so far as to throw Franklin Richards into a particularly unpleasant circle of Hades. The team made it out, but not without being changed. Reed’s face was horribly scarred by Doom, Ben Grimm’s rocky hide took some of the worst shots it ever had, leaving huge chunks of his outer “skin” missing, and Franklin was emotionally shut down. Reed’s damage was such that he took over Latveria in Doom’s absence, convinced the people of Doom’s great evil, and unintentionally got the United Nations involved in the conflict. The battle was stopped, however, when Doctor Doom’s mind took over the body of Ben Grimm, and they had to kill the Thing to stop him. Reed, more addled than ever, decided that it was his responsibility to “save” his friend, and once again gathered his family to set off on a wild dimensional ride… to capital-h Heaven. Once there, they discover the lost spirit of Benjamin J. Grimm, trapped on the outskirts of Heaven, unable to enter, and Reed discovers the horrible truth…

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Reed is stricken dumb, unable to fathom what has happened, as the realm of the metaphysical is beyond even his excellent mind. Sue, however, gets the gist of it, asking “So, we came all this way for nothing?” Ben hugs here and tells her that they just came here to say goodbye. He tells Reed as well, and turns to speak to Johnny Storm. Ben smiles, ready to tell his ‘brother’ a fond farewell, but Johnny turns away, not letting the former Thing see the rage in his eyes…

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Johnny whirls on Reed, yelling, “Then, you! FIX THIS! FIX IT!!” The Torch spits fire at Reed, but Mr. Fantastic easily dodges, lashing back at him. Johnny blames Reed for their situation (rightfully, in a way) and Sue tells him to speak for himself. “You don’t have ANY CLUE how I feel,” she rages, holding her brother with his forcefield. “That’s nothing new!” screams Reed, “Since when does Johnny think of ANYONE but himself?” Their anger flies in all directions, destroying the very landscape around them, while Ben and his deceased brother Jacob realize the truth of what’s wrong…

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Ben leaps for the door the Heaven (blocked by a patented Mr. Fantastic gadget) and begins ripping at the wiring. “How’m I supposed to figger this out when Reed couldn’t? And it’s HIS work!” Panicked, Grimm falls back on his old standby: random destruction. Tearing components off the door, smashing and tearing at the machinery, he is stunned when he finds what lies beneath. “Aw, no. No, no, no, NO NO!”

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Ben tells Reed the truth he needs to hear: the reason Ben still has a tiny spark of life in him, is that he doesn’t want to leave his family behind. “I ain’t ready t’ take no dirt nap yet, and neither are you! You ‘n me, let’s go… I’m not leavin’ ya, Reed! I’m never leavin’ ya.” As the ledge beneath Mr. Fantastic gives way, he suddenly stretches to reach his best friends hand. The first family is reunited again, and Ben suggests that they all get in Reed’s “Angelicar” and just go home. Reed, however, is drawn back to the mystery of the locked door to the afterlife, and Jacob steps forward with a counter-offer. “In light of all you’ve been through… not only today, but in the service of mankind through the years, I’ve been empowered by the man in charge to offer the four of you this invitation: Stay.”

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I’m reminded of the old joke about how no one who WANTS to be president should ever be ALLOWED to be president. The gates of Heaven open wide, and the Fantastic Four are stunned to get the chance of a lifetime. Ben finally gets to say goodbye to his big brother (”See you soon,” says Jake, and then, seeing the look on Ben’s face, adds “Figure of speech.” Heh.) and the foursome leap into a slightly familiar looking void. Floating through a slightly familiar looking mindscape, the foursome lands at a door, behind which they will meet their maker…

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…literally. That, my friends, is Jacob Kurtzberg, known better to you and me as Jack “The King” Kirby, the Fantastic Four’s maker (with, of course, input from a man called Stan.) “Where are the elves?” asks Johnny, and Ben reminds him that that’s Santa. Sue is a bit taken aback, asking “Why am I taller than the almighty?” The big man replies, “What you see is what I am to you. Don’t worry. It’s a compliment, not an insult…”

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“What’s the number? One?” Heh. Faced with what they can only process as a metaphor for the Almighty, the FF are completely out of their element. Looking over his shoulder at the drawing board, Johnny wonders why God needs a starship collaborator, and the King shrugs and keeps drawing. “We’re all part of the process. Think about your world. It starts with words AND pictures. The ordinary AND the cosmic. That’s what sets the stage… How far out is the world that’s coming? What is it? Where is it going? How will it evolve? The mystery intrigues me.” Even Reed, the most flexible mind of the Marvel U, can’t quite wrap his mind around it all…

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The creator turns to Ben, and begins pencilling in the chunks of rock that transform him back into the Thing. “I gotta go home like THIS? Wotta gyp!” The King explains that he would have awakened in Reed’s healing tank eventually, all he did was speed up a subplot a bit, and tells Reed that the machine that brought them all here won’t work again. “Still, it was a clever thought… I admire your imagination. Always have. You know never to stop asking ‘Why?’ That was the test.” Reed smiles and shakes his hand as they start to fade away, and Johnny quickly asks for a souvenir. The man some call Kirby smiles, and throws something to Reed, remarking, “You’ll earn it.” They materialize in the lab, and Johnny, ever practical, responds “Home. Who wants pizza?”

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Waid and ‘Ringo’s story goes on, and the entire run entertains me in the way that Fantastic Four really hasn’t since John Byrne threw them into the Negative Zone in 1986. FF is one of those titles where I love the characters so much that I can’t read the title for very long, as invariably, an creator will do something that annoys me (like Sue in her peek-a-boo costume, or the whole Lyja sub-plot, or god forbid, Occulus) and sends me packing. This run had me from ‘Hello,” and kept me even when Galactus was wandering Coney Island in the form of man.

Much like the Grant Morrison run on ‘X-Men,’ this was an honest attempt by Marvel to give us something DIFFERENT, something unique, rather than just writing a love letter to an older version of the team. Some of it worked, some of it didn’t, even for me, but when Jack Kirby erased Reed’s scar and gave them a happy ending, I loved it… Comics don’t always have to be sturm und drang, death and destruction, blah blah blah Civil War, “Peter Parker’s life will never be the same again.” Sometimes, we just want a good adventure story, and every once in a while, we just want to go walk out with a big, goofy smile on our face. It saddens me that Mike is gone now, but at least his body of work is still out there, in back issue bins and thrift shops across the globe, just waiting for us to come across ‘em. Fantastic Four #511 earns a poetic 4 out of 5 Things, and an honest wish that the run had gone on a little longer…

***The Beatles... They were big. Buddhism, too, has had it's followers... But can any of these REALLY compare to the phenomenon that is Matthew? At the age of 37, he's finally certain that there's no such thing as an adult, only children with varying abilities to cover their own insecurities. His comic book collection is currently housed in fifty-three short boxes, and were one of the major forces behind his family's move to larger quarters. Matthew enjoys body surfing, (so long as the bodies are fresh) writing in the third person, and dark-eyed women. Favorite writers include Gail Simone, Joss Whedon, Matt Fraction, Fred Van Lente, Doug Moench, Geoff Johns, Kurt Busiek, Jeff Parker, Steve Gerber and David Anthony Kraft. Among his favorite artists are John Byrne, Phil Jiminez, Nicola Scott, Barry Kitson, Mark Bagley, Mac Raboy, Marshall Rogers, Gil Kane, Russ Manning, Jerry Ordway, Gene Colan, and Tim Truman. Ask him tomorrow, and there'll be even more. As a great man once said: 'The Future's Up To You... So Whatcha Gonna Do?' ***

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