Or – “In Which I Review Entirely In Haiku…”
Rapid Fire Reviews…
Comics In Poetic Form.
(Let’s See If This Works.)
Previously, on Everything:
Heroes Lived And Died,
And If You Questioned Stephen,
Grant Morrison Sucked.
Astonishing Tales #1:
Logan, Castle Fight.
Two Starks, No Waiting. But Why
Revive New Mutants?
The Boys Twenty-Seven:
M.M. Finds A Lead,
G-Men Suck In Many Ways,
Huey’s In Deep $#!+.
GreenArrow and Black Canary #17:
New Villain, Old Tricks.
Not Every Bad Guy Needs To
Be A Dark Mirror.
Green Lantern Corps #33:
Mongul. Arkillo.
To The Winner Go The Spoils…
Daxamites Enslaved.
Immortal Iron Fist #22:
Immortal Weapons…
The Eighth City Found. Then The
Real Torture Begins.
Madman Atomic Comics #13:
Monstadt Undone By
Joe’s New Superpowers And
Adam’s Brain Rebuilt.
Marvels – Eye Of The Camera #3:
The Bronze Age Dawns For
Phil Sheldon; The Punisher
Looks Much Like Tom Cruise.
Worldmind Thinks Rich Is
Crazy, Rich Flips The Hell Out.
Nova Powers? Bye!
Proof #16:
Sexual Tension…
Cryptic Warnings, Strange Omens.
The Pooh Bear Riff Rocks.
PS238 #37:
School Compositions.
Self Disclosure, Zodon Rules.
Moonshadow Is Back.
R.E.B.E.L.S #1:
I Don’t Get This Book.
Vril Dox Is Fun, Villains Abound,
But It’s Timing’s Weird.
Bane Beaten Bloody.
Jeannette’s A Banshee, Hatter’s
Back, Deadshot Goes Rogue.
Secret Warriors #1:
Nicholas Fury.
When He Starts Fighting A War,
Best Steer The Hell Clear.
***The Beatles... They were big.
Buddhism, too, has had it's followers...
But can any of these REALLY compare to the phenomenon that is Matthew? At the age of 37, he's finally certain that there's no such thing as an adult, only children with varying abilities to cover their own insecurities. His comic book collection is currently housed in fifty-three short boxes, and were one of the major forces behind his family's move to larger quarters. Matthew enjoys body surfing, (so long as the bodies are fresh) writing in the third person, and dark-eyed women.
Favorite writers include Gail Simone, Joss Whedon, Matt Fraction, Fred Van Lente, Doug Moench, Geoff Johns, Kurt Busiek, Jeff Parker, Steve Gerber and David Anthony Kraft.
Among his favorite artists are John Byrne, Phil Jiminez, Nicola Scott, Barry Kitson, Mark Bagley, Mac Raboy, Marshall Rogers, Gil Kane, Russ Manning, Jerry Ordway, Gene Colan, and Tim Truman. Ask him tomorrow, and there'll be even more.
As a great man once said: 'The Future's Up To You... So Whatcha Gonna Do?' ***
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Matthew, your poetic efforts are very impressive. Now if only in your next rapid review you could do them in Iambic Pentameter.
I daresay I’ll not even take the chance.
Perhaps anther gimmick better used?
Although, when I allow a second glance,
there might be merit, I could be enthused.
I’m gonna give REBELS another issue or two to see if it’s a book for me.
@Matthew
You’re even able to be snarky in that format. Bravo sir.
About REBELS: I’ll read anything starring a bitchy coluan, and for what I got from this issue, keeping up with this title won’t be much of an effort. Plus, there’s Tigorr, for extra awesomeness (shaddup, I like him!). I’m hooked. Vril’s nazi uniform bothered me more than the timing, though.
I absolutely LOVE bits of romance in a story, but, for that issue of GLC, I’d gladly skip the lovey dovey part to see some progress on the Daxam situation. And more Mogul-on-Arkillo action! The Tom Sawyer reference was a nice touch.
And, Matthew, way to grasp of the comic’s zeitgeist!
Zeitgeist? I got that in college, a little penicillin cleared that right up.
The romance subplot in Green Lantern Corps is my favorite bit, especially as regards Kyle and Pinky Doctorton, though the whole “United Colors of Benneton” Lantern bit is getting on my nerves already, and we’re only four colors into it all…
Dox’s SS uniform was kind of cool, though I’m wondering about the Threeboot Brainiac 5’s influence. I guess having more than one Legion isn’t all that much more complicated than having two Justice Societies (one on Earth-2, one on New Earth) but still, it seem unwieldy.
…
Just make sure you wash your hands before and after you grasp it. Better shower.
I’m just glad Kyle”honey, why aren’t you breathing?” Rayner and Natu got their feelings resolved already, instead of dragging some sexual tension subplot for months. I like her character, I hope she survives longer than her predecessors.
As for the Threeboot Brainiac 5 cameo in REBELS, personally, I’m not too concerned about what it means in continuity terms. Threeboot Brainy was the one who interacted with that particular version of Supergirl, so it makes sense that he should be the one to appear. Also, IMO, of all incarnations, that’s the one mean enough to give Vril himself a run for his money!
About the costume, I’m just don’t see why Vril would need riding pants in space!
I’m a HUGE Legion fan, so, as long as there’s at least one I can recognize in a near future, fine. If more of them pop out from L3W, and we get to see more Brainiac Fives arguing, well, there are worse things.